A
female
age
36-40,
*reChic
writes:I am a 14 year old girl. I live in a conservative middle eastern country where I cannot talk to anyone about this problem I have, so I have to confide in an internet site as a last resort.I have had a crush on this guy since the beginning of the year. First we became good friends but I couldn't tell him how I felt because he was dating a very close friend of mine. When they broke up, I first asked permission from my friend and then told him how I felt. He was still hung over his ex, so he didn't really acknowledge my feelings. After a week or so he was still very depressed about the break up and when we were talking on the phone like we did everyday, I asked him if there was anything I could do to help him. He, very shyly told me we could have sex, so that he could get over his feelings and maybe start liking me even. At this point I have to tell you that we were very honest to each other and he knew I was very open about sex, so please hang in there before you start judging the two of us. Still, I told him no, since it would mean different things to the both of us and that instead of him getting better, this would cause us both to get sadder. He didn't mention the idea again but we kept talking everyday, even after he graduated from the school we both attended. During every conversation, he would joke about or hint how we became like a couple and I would blush on my end of the phone and sometimes, he would tell me how much he needed me with all the pain he was going through because of his break up and family problems. One day, I convinced him to come to the area where I live and when we stopped by at my house, we shared a kiss. It was very beautiful but it confused me as I thought he didn't like me back that way. I gave him a call the next day and he repeatedly claimed he loved me and he considered us boyfriend-girlfriend now but for some reason, I couldn't believe him. I had other guys in my life telling me they loved me to use me for sex. Two days later, we met again, this time we went to his house and we started making out intensely. As he was removing my shirt I told him I was a virgin and was afraid to have sex. He told me he didn't mind me being a virgin and we could still do it. Even though I was prepared to have sex with him that day, for some reason I couldn't do it. He was very bitter to me about it. He didn't call that night nor the next day. Feeling lonely, I felt remorse over rejecting him. I went on these teen sites warning kids not to have sex so that my conscious felt right. After having read all the facts about how it's too early, dangerous and whatnot, I still want to have sex with him. I feel like I'm losing one of the most important people in my life and the reason why I just can't believe he loves me is that I am too skeptical of a person. What do you think I should do?
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broke up, crush, depressed, his ex, middle eastern, shy Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, love-struckxo  +, writes (29 June 2009):
 Wait until you are in a relationship with somebody you love.
Guys will say anything to get you to sleep with them. The words fall out of there mouth. They don't think they just do.
I learned the hard way sweetie.. I've been used more times then I can count on two hands. So what does that tell you?
Didn't use my head, and it didn't help me any. Just more pain and heartache.
xxx
A
male
reader, citic101  +, writes (28 June 2009):
 If you want to have sex with make sure he wears a CONDOM No CONDOM NO Sex !
I think 14 is a little young , how old is the man 18 - 19 if he was bitter after you said No you have done the right thing in not going further with him. It would be best to wait atleast until 16. If someone loves you they will respect your wishes and not push you to doing something wish you seem our not ready for.
Alot of people tell lies to get what they want
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A
female
reader, cherry cherry boom boom  +, writes (28 June 2009):
Look if he loves you he would respect you and your body if he can't respect your body than he is not worthy to be with you. Maybe you should wait until the write guy comes around and make sure he respects you. This ya girl, peace.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2009): Hi dear
He is playing you & knows that he "controls" you. Without doubt you have deep feelings for him but the fact that he became angry at you for not having full sex shows how selfish he is; this is not someone that cares for you for sure.
You are still too young for this and you shouldn't do something against your beliefs, liking or will. IF HE REALLY loves you he will understand.
Having full sex at this age might not be as good as you or Him might think and beside losing your virginity (which might be a big problem depending on from where you are in Turkey and how liberal your family is) there are considerable risks e.g. pregnancy or STD.
If you break up later on (which most likely will be the case because you still have a long way to go) you will be devastated.
Also for more opinions, there was a post by a girl at the same age asking a very similar question yesterday (on this web site search/google for "menna").
IYI Chanceler ;) & all the best
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2009): he does not love you if he does not understand you are not ready. He is only sayin he loves you to get into your pants! you are stupid if you give up your virginity to this no good little boy. don't fall for the okie doke n give it up wait find someone who would wait with you and when you ready you will be glad you waited. Trust your instincts ... n make the right choice
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