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No sex for the past 4 months, should I wait or move on?

Tagged as: Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 April 2015) 2 Answers - (Newest, 23 April 2015)
A male United Kingdom age 51-59, anonymous writes:

iv'e been going out with my girl friend for just over 4 years now.but the past few months she will not have sex any more just come's up with the answer i'm tired when asked why to say we had regular sex.she always come's to my house an when she come's only sit's at side of me i try to put my are around her but she just move's it out of way.there is no kissing only the cheek by her when she go's.i wonder if it is time to move on are wait to see if it blows over with her.

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (23 April 2015):

Fatherly Advice agony auntyou ask, "i wonder if it is time to move on are wait to see if it blows over with her."

Both sound too passive. I would suggest you up your game. Dress a bit better, work out, get a hair cut. Also add some mystery, don't be home all the time. Make excuses to go out early if she does catch you home. Let her wonder where you are.

Chances are she is bored. 4 years and no commitment, Dates are TV. You might not be the only one looking for something more.

FA

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2015):

First of all, TALK TO HER. Not us.

Explain openly and clearly what you are feeling/thinking. Never be afraid to communicate. Relationships involve work on both sides and needs having to be met on both sides. Relationships should not be one sided. If one partner's needs are not being met then it is futile for that person to remain in an unsatisfying relationship. But before making drastic decisions, I am a big believer in always trying to communicate with your partner. Giving them an opportunity to change or address your needs. Talking it out. It is give and take.

Decide if what she tells you is good enough for you. If you feel she is sincere. If she has valid reasons. But at the same time tell her that sex is important to you and that if she feels she is no longer into the sexual part of your relationship, that you will move on.

If you really do LOVE her, give her a chance to respond. Then see if anything changes.

If not, yes, move on. You can't expect a sexless relationship to be satisfying for you, can you? You won't be happy and will seek it elsewhere.

If you don't have sex, you are left with a roommate only. I doubt this would work for you.

So go out and seek a passionate woman who loves sex. You never need to be stuck with anyone. And you never need to sacrifice your own happiness. Perhaps this relationship has run its course?

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