A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:First, some background - I'm 26 and my boyfriend is 30. We've been seeing each other for almost 2 years now and I'm thinking of calling it quits, but I'm afraid I'll regret leaving. What should I do?From the start I've noticed big differences between us in values, opinions, etc, and there was never that big CLICK. It's an effort to communicate with him on the same frequency. But I needed a companion and he fell for me. He's a very nice person so I thought, why not? I'm independent and not very romantic, but he's like a puppy. I'm loud and I love talking, and he can't even tell a salesman that he doesn't need a new vacuum cleaner. He agrees with everything I say and won't criticize me (even constructively). He says differences doesn't matter to him. Although he's 4 years older than I am, I feel like I'm more mature and have a stronger character than him. Other people notice this too, including my parents.We went through the heady phase of a new couple but the effect soon wore off for me. I stopped saying I love him after 1 year because I'd be lying to myself. I've tried to make things work but it just doesn't. I still care for him but romance is definitely out for me. Despite all this, he's still very much in love and is very optimistic that we'll be together forever. Few months ago in a discussion, I mentioned that I don't want to get married anytime soon due to several reasons, both practical and personal. He said he'll wait no matter how long it takes if it means he'll end up marrying me one day. I was taken aback. Note that he's a VERY nice person. He never gets angry, he lets me do what I want to do, he cooks for me when I'm sick at home, he drops off the laundry for me, even insists on paying when I know he doesn't have much cash left in the bank. Should I leave? What else can I do? Am I wasting my time? Or am I wasting a perfectly fine boyfriend? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2009): i think you heart and brain are mixed up. your heart says stay because it might get better - your brains says no.
so i think you talk to him and tell him, that you are unsure - i would even try counselling or sometime apart.
have some strength - if you aren't into him - it will only get worse.
Star.x.
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