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No diagnosis for his ED and lack of desire! My marriage is almost destroyed by this!

Tagged as: Health, Marriage problems, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 May 2013) 3 Answers - (Newest, 22 May 2013)
A female United States age , anonymous writes:

I hope there are someone out there in my situation. I feel so alone with my problem. My 28 year long marriage is almost destroyed by this, and I dont know what else can I do. So my husband has a chronic sexual/erectile dysfunction, and complete lack of desire for sex. The big problem is, that it stared suddenly, after years of hot sex, and never one issue, before for 28 years, . Than once suddenly he lost his erection at the middle of intercourse, and next time , he didn't get an erection, than he stopped touching me, or wanting to do anything with me in bed. He was cooperative, went to doctors, and psychologists, but they couldn't diagnose his problem, as medically he is in perfect shape, and the therapist is clueless, so he is. So he is in this condition few years ago now, and there is NO DIAGNOSIS for his problem. Did you ever hear about anything like that, when someone couldn't find out why is this happening to a man?If you have any guess, please tell me, Thanks

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2013):

ED is very common in long marriages. If a survey was made I am sure it will prove more than 90% of long married couples stop having sex after 20 years of being together. with the frequency of having sex dwindling over the years from atleast once a day in the first year to almost zero after 20 yrs. This happens for various reasons but these are normally catigorized under 2 main headings: 1. Psychological. 2. Physical. The Biggest psychological reason is the male partener getting bored of sex because it is the same all the time. That is to say getting bored of having sex with the same partner all the time. One example of this is from the animal world where in most species we see one male mating with many females of the species. Also we see that when a new female introduced to the herd the male of the herd immediately goes and mates with the new female many many times in a short period. I am not a zologist to give an explanation for this but to put it crudely the male of mankind is something like that also.This is one of the downside of the marriage institution. I sometimes really hope if sociologists can find a solution to this problem and amend the marriage terms to suit nature. also I stress here that although sex siezes but most men remain loyal and loving and dedicated to their partners. They simply grow out of the sex phase. other psychological reasons can be stress at work, financial problems, worry about something..etc.

I suggest that you should introduce more color to your lives,go out more, go on holidays to releive stress or even join a swing group. Also if he doesn't have health issues he should start taking viagra.

Also remember that men at 45 also have menopause which manifest itself as ED.I hope I have succeeded to explain one side of the problem.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2013):

ED is medical issue and can be solely tied into biology. What about viagra?

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (22 May 2013):

person12345 agony auntCan/does he masturbate? Does he still have a sex drive?

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