A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my loving caring partner for 5 years...it has been almost perfect so I thought until last year.He dotes on me and puts me first and I was the same to him. It started last year and has continued...we hardly have sex and when we do I can't wait for it to be over.We have spoken about getting married and having children in the next 5years. He would be the perfect husband and father but can I sacrifice no chemistry and disappointing sex life. Does having someone u love and rely on outweighs sex? To me sex bonds a relationship.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2015): People stay with a partner who isn't right for them for many reasons; they are scared to be on their own, they are afraid to feel the pain that is inevitable in any break up, they feel comfortable and safe in the current situation, they don't want to hurt their partner, they don't want to let down family and friends who think he's so peachy, they feel they "owe" the other person something, etc. etc. Ok here is the deal, if you don't have a good sex life now, it is not going to get better. I guarantee you this. What you currently have with your boyfriend is a caring, loving friendship....and sweetheart - that is NOT enough to make it in the long run. He may be wonderful, awesome, etc., but that does not mean you are obligated to stay with him for life. How crazy would that be? Having sex with someone who has become more like a beloved family member than a sexy boyfriend is just...yuck. You owe yourself more than that. No buck up and get ready to go through a few months of terrible after you break it off because it will be hard, but you will come out of it renewed and thankful. There is someone out there who will treat you great, be a great friend, and also give you butterflies for life.
A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke +, writes (23 April 2015):
 To be truly happy with someone, you have to love them with your heart. You have to be in love with them, not just admire them. Just because someone ticks lots of boxes, that's not enough.
Work on your relationship, and try to rekindle the romance. But remember, without the romance and fancying someone, you just have friendship, and that's not fair on either of you. You both deserve to love and be loved.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (23 April 2015):
 Nope, you need sex. Or else you have a room-mate situation.
But this doesn't mean you need to give up on this man you have, which you clearly do think highly of. Sex used to be good, so there is no reason why it shouldn't be good again. But apparently you let it drift and didn't maintain a good sex-life. Sex life takes work, just like any other part of a relationship. When it's good you don't have to think so much about it, but when you notice that it's not good, like right now, you need to take action.
I would first off start with asking yourself why you aren't turned on by him any more. Is it something he does, or doesn't do? Has sex become a routine? What do you miss, how was it in the past? Ask yourself these questions in order to try and find the problem. Once you've found the cause of the problem, you can find a solution.
Example: you wish the sex to be over because it's not giving you pleasure, and maybe he skips foreplay and you're not turned on, so it becomes uncomfortable.
Solution: Talk to him about it and suggest that you and him focus on this the next time you have sex. Then take matters in your own hands: make yourself comfortable, do the things you need to do to get "started". For example you can make him watch you as you touch yourself, and when you are ready let him know.
In this case, it could be a good thing to set a specific time for when you will have sex next, so that neither of you come up with excuses like not having the time, or having other things that should be done instead. And then try, even if you don't have intercourse and neither of you reaches orgasm, it is still sex and it is still bonding.
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