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Nightclub questions for the ladies.

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 November 2010) 5 Answers - (Newest, 8 November 2010)
A male United Kingdom age 41-50, *asildonBill32 writes:

Hi everyone, I've just signed up here so this is my very first post. Probably wont be my last though! :o).

I'm curious for the female perspective on this, but i'd welcome feedback from anyone.

I'm 32 and been been single for 2 years now, so I do what most singles do and get out to nightclubs when I can. I would say that I enjoy clubs for the atmosphere and music, but of course I feel the need to be in a social setting where I might encounter single ladies too.

Sadly I only have a small circle of friends and very few go out to clubs now, so its very hard to find people to regularly go with when I feel a need for a good night out. So heres the questions...

What are girls thoughts on a man going into a club with lets say 4 female friends and so is seen to be hanging around with only them for the duration of the night with no male friends in sight? Like I said I have very few friends who go out to clubs now, so my choices are limited, but I do have a group of very good female friends who are more than happy to have me hang around with them for a good night out. I'm very comfortable in my own skin so whether i'm with male friends or female friends doesnt really change the way that I am and I still have a good time with them.

But from my point of view of being single and being open to attracting a nice single girl, does it damage the way they may view me at all?

Thanks

Bill

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A male reader, BasildonBill32 United Kingdom +, writes (8 November 2010):

BasildonBill32 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for the feedback, its given me food for thought. I never considered that it could peg me as being homosexual. I'm completely straight so I wouldnt at all want women thinking otherwise of me. I dont look on clubs as a place to meet women, but I do acknowledge that there would be single women there, and so I guess i'm concious of presenting myself in the best possible way, which I do everywhere anyway.

The biggest problem is that my reasons for sometimes hanging with a group of girl mates is due to lack of enough male friends to go out with. It was either that or stay in, so its hard sometimes.

Perhaps the answer here is that I need to make more male friends to go out to these places with!.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2010):

I must admit, i feel intimadated when i se a guy i like with another women, or a few women, as i assume that one of them in his girlfriend.

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A female reader, tennisstar88 United States +, writes (8 November 2010):

tennisstar88 agony auntI'll admit the first thought that came to mind, I would ask myself "Is he gay?" However, that depends if you live in an area where the population has quite a bit of homosexuals. It's just that it's odd to see a man in a club with a group of females. I totally understand that men and women can have a strictly platonic friendship but the other ladies might not. It could come across as you're gay, a ladies man, or one of these girls is your girlfriend. Also, you would have to break away from your lady friends to talk to girls, they're not going to approach you when you're surrounded by females. The plus side, you're going to be making men jealous, and yeah some ladies heads will turn just because it's uncommon..but you're going to have to explain yourself. To stomp that guy thought, it couldn't hurt to bump and grind on the dance floor with one of your female friends.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2010):

yes it may look like you are arriving with your harem, and may put some girls off. But i am more concerned that you see pubs and clubs as the place to meet a nice girl. These places are pressure cookers of noise and heat, but maybe not the place to meet a wider range of nice girls. Is there a speed dating group in your area? Is there a 'singles for dinner' group in your area where a new group each week of 3 males and 3 females in a similar aged group meet together for a meal. The organisers choose the 6 based on the interests of the 6. If you dont find a match you like at the dinner your name is listed for the next available dinner, but with 5 new people.. Have you thought of joining a mixed, males and females gym, or a walking group, where you can get to know some good people where you are doing something healthy, together? Can you also consider joining a volunteer group that helps people and volunteer once a month?

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (7 November 2010):

janniepeg agony auntI don't go to clubs myself. It won't matter if you hang around with females or males. The important is that after you picked one chick, you focus your attention on her, get to know her, then introduce her to your friends. If she is deep, she would not be so quick to judge that all your friends are females. You can't stop someone from having wild imaginations, such as "maybe none of the girls want to be your girlfriend," or "out of the four girls he couldn't start a relationship with any of them." It's still a very good quality that you can be friends with females, because it means you don't look at them as objects to be possessed.

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