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New to gay dating.... what's going on?

Tagged as: Dating, Gay relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 May 2017) 3 Answers - (Newest, 9 May 2017)
A male United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

This guy asked me out he was eager talking to me gave me his number, we seemed to get on and have a lot in common he last messaged me 10 days ago and I replied but since my reply his gone silent on me,

I've dropped a few likes and messages on social media and one or two messages on text but still his ignoring me.

Has he lost interest?

Is he playing hard to get?

I don't know I'm new to gay dating how does this all work lol are the rules the same as straight dating

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland + , writes (9 May 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntWhen he asked you out how did you respond? Did you appear interested and did you set a date? If not hit him a message and ask him if he is still up for that date and set a time and place, if he doesn't reply then he is not interested so delete him and move on.

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A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (5 May 2017):

He likes to collect numbers of attractive young gay men; and save them until he needs a date. It's quite typical of gay men these days; because they have so many hookup apps available online; that they take meeting a guy in-person for granted.

You're young and inexperienced. Most more experienced gay men are cautious with newbies, because they tend to get easily attached; or are looking for their first relationship.

He's not ignoring you. He's basking in your attention and eagerness to make some sort of connection, or get a date. He most likely already has a boyfriend; or is actively dating someone he plans to dump in the near future. You're on the shelf until the dating-pool dries-up.

He may even hold-out for a booty-call. Some quiet lonely night his number appears on your caller-ID! He'll be so sweet and apologetic; and might ask if he can come-over to make it up to you. It has happened to me quite a few times back the day. I caught-on! That will never change. It's a guy thing, gay or straight.

This isn't to make you cynical or insecure. It's just the typical gay dating-game nowadays.

Go about your business and stop calling him. As Honeypie says, he's "ghosting" you until he decides to call you out of the blue. It's a red-flag regarding his character; and may even be the tactics of a player. Woo you in, make you starve for his attention; then he'll swoop in, do you, and be on his way. He'll treat you like he didn't know you.

Blow-off his lame excuses. Don't show emotion or disappointment; he needs a reaction to read your feelings.

Behave as if you could care less, but remain somewhat distant. He's going to try and seduce you. Ask for a date or drown you in compliments. Accept them with grace and remain cool and distant. Expect calls.

He ignored you; and now you must gain his respect. Don't allow anyone to take advantage of your inexperience. I'm gay and I've seen it all. Don't play games, just let people know that everything is cool as long as they don't treat you like you're a boy-toy. You inexperienced, not stupid.

Be cool and cordial when you run into him again. Be very nonchalant with guys like him. They are conceited and like having fans and to be idolized.

You're fresh and new, that makes YOU the prize! He's been around the block. Take your time and be patient. Learn something about people to determine if friend or foe. Don't appear too eager to hear from anyone. If they really like you, they won't waste anytime getting in-touch; and they will treat you respectfully!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (5 May 2017):

Honeypie agony auntHe might have been talking to multiple people - you being ONE of them. And he might have fancied someone else more. My guess is that If that other dude/girl doesn't work out he will come round to you again... Some people are like that.

Personally? I'd block his number and remove him from social media and move on to someone else.

I don't think he is playing hard to get - but "ghosting" you. Of his "supplies dries up" he might try and contact you again with some lame excuse. I'd just chalk it up to a "not the guy for you" and move on.

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