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Never too old for heartache and being foolish

Tagged as: Breaking up<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 April 2010) 8 Answers - (Newest, 2 April 2010)
A female Ireland age , anonymous writes:

at age 66 I find myself alone again after a 4 1/2 yr relationship. Altho I ended it, it was because he treated me poorly. He was selfish, selfcentered and emotionally unavailable..and yet I stayed hoping if I loved him enough he would be more loving and giving.

After just 2 months he already is living with a new woman and doing all the fun things we used to do. I can not move on at all. I cry all the time...I am lonely..To make matters even harder we both work at the same place and altho we try to stagger our days and hours we still end up having to speak or see each other. He's fine and happy and I am miserable. How do I get thru this...my heart is breaking.

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (2 April 2010):

Miamine agony auntNow we both got homework, what did Q put up to make us women think..

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (2 April 2010):

Miamine agony auntah... sorry, hate the crying stuff not good at that...

mmm... found out the best way is to just cry and suffer the nightmares, after a while they go away..

My friends helped me with the nightmares, told me to stop running in my dreams and to ask the scary people what they wanted... bloody bastards, I've been waiting every night to ask them, but they never came back in nightmares to answer me questions...

Tears.. mmmm.. let them fall, it's to hard to stop them.. they eventually dry up on there own when there's no more water in your body to give to them.

And then.. fun, fun, fun.. got tons of stuff to do before we are dead... :)

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (2 April 2010):

Miamine agony auntBurning bra's.. ppff... don't wear one anyway..

Hey, I'm doing this list on my own.. you got any suggestions on how to take up time when your feeling down and crappy...

Baking cakes and bread, making ice-cream.. done, but they weren't eatable so dose that count...

Big Plan.. dressing as slutty as I can and attending the big carnival for black people in London ..... na, I'm waiting until I'm 66 or older and I look sexier and have more confidence...

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (2 April 2010):

Miamine agony auntHey, 66 is the new 40.. before me mum got sick she was picking up younger guys than me...

My 30th birthday, my mum's 60 and I'm having to fight off all them 20year old guys who think a woman in a red dress with grey hair is sexy... grrrrr.... fake it until you make it, age dosen't count nowadays....

You made a mistake.. me too.. 18years later, he runs off and I'm too old to have babies... bohooo... hahahahaha.. break out the list of things I haven't tried...

Jail.. done, mmmm... causual sex, yukky, but I tried it... protesting and fighting police.. fun, fun, fun.. got tired of listening to all the fun you people had before 1969.. dropping out.. done.. now how do you drop in... lol... lots of life for both of us girl, as long as we stop dwelling on mistakes and try the things we've missed...

mmmm.. writing to heads of government, done... swimming with dolphins.. mmmmm.. maybe next year or the year after.. :)

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A female reader, Angzw Zimbabwe +, writes (2 April 2010):

You may continue to have some bad days every now and then for a while yet, but it does get easier with plenty of time and other distractions to keep you busy as another poster suggested. Don't stay home every weekend with a box of tissues wallowing in your misery; get out there. Don't let your age or your bad experience deter you from meeting someone in future; there is someone out there for you. I am dating a guy who has a 69 year old female friend and I am thoroughly intimidated by her sexiness and confidence allthough I am in my mid 30's. She has wrinkles and a mastectomy but she acts like she has a little secret to happiness... I would not leave her alone with my man. Go salsa class like was suggested and get your sexy back. This loser will be very sorry about his decision and it will be too late for him ;-)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thanks for the quick and insightful advice...gonna try and work on it. Had a really bad night last night...lots of dreams and woke up hourly crying. Here is hoping today will be an easier day. The nights and week-ends are the hardest because that is when we spent mose of our fun time together (we lived together) After the death of my husband 8 1/2 years ago I thought I would never love again and then I pick the wrong man after waiting more than 3 yrs to date...stupidity has no age requirement I guess.

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (2 April 2010):

Miamine agony auntSigh.. like the rest of us honeypie.. you put on a brave face, dress your best for work, put on some make up, and paint a bright smile on your face... Then you fake it untill you make it.. You force yourself to be happy in public, show him that your doing well without him.

Go out with your friends, get a new hobby, take up roller blading or ice skating, go offer to be a nudist model for the local college art group, take up salsa dancing (nice place to meet guys and you also get to cuddle)

You do whatever it takes honeypie, to survive and thrive until you get over this bad mistake.

http://www.wikihow.com/Get-Over-a-Break-Up

http://www.wikihow.com/Find-Yourself

http://www.wikihow.com/Recreate-Your-Life

http://www.wikihow.com/Be-Yourself

There you are, some links.. now your too busy to care about him and the latest lady he's abusing, you've got homework to do, you got to work at making a happier you... Blessings, things will come out alright in the end.. :)

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A female reader, Angzw Zimbabwe +, writes (2 April 2010):

Firstly you have to allow yourself a period of mourning; you were with him for a while so the pain won't go away overnight. After you have allowed yourself to cry and rage, you have to literally force yourself out of your misery. Showing him how miserable you are won't make him love you or want you back. All he will think is that you are pathetic. So improve your appearance, get your hair done, wear something new and let him see you shine. This is not to win him back but to boost your confidence. He is happy with his life so your misery is a waste of time. Finally, although most people would disagree, there is nothing like a fling to help you get over an ex. Try online dating sites like connectingsingles.com and flirt with a few hot guys. There are plenty your age but there are also a lot of younger guys who would love to flirt with you. But avoid getting into a relationship yet; this is just to boost your confidence and help you realise that you are still attractive to a lot of men and he is not your only option. Once you see that you have options you will find it easier to let go. Really work on your confidence and on your grooming; its the key to sexiness. Look at Sophia Loren; she's in her 70's yet lots of guys young enough to be her grandsons would pursue her if the had the chance because she exudes confidence. I wish you well.

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