A
female
age
36-40,
*ixieGwen
writes:I posted a Q previously bout my bf and I - we broke up a wk ago *Sat 11th*. We had a good relationship and then when his financial/work life didnt seem to be goin good - it seemed he knit picked at our relationship despite the fact his fam liked me/ told me I was diff/better than others,he talked about the future *hypothetically* etc always seemed happy. We had no real holes in our relationship.He broke up w/ me cos supposedly he cant give me marriage/kids - he had a bunch of random reasons..but thats the one that made most sense.*I told him that wasnt important*.anyhoo, Saw him the 11th/12th for my things and said I wouldnt discuss anything *I thought he was tired of it* so he got mad I would discuss anything.He seemed incredibly sad/I we made out/talked a bit.he wanted to keep in contact/be friends - hang, said maybe the wknd. I txted him Tuesday - we chatted a bit. Said he'd see me b4 my trip *its on the 23rd* but he also said "I need to get my ish together and itll take bout 2 wks but then I'll be good"Txted him Wed 15th to ask him if he'd still like to help w/ somethin job related. He got back to me Fri 17th but never said anything bout the job thing.He asked how Im doin, made convo bout his job (job still not working out) and that was it. Why does he need to get his ish together 1st- cop out/or good sign?, Why ask how im doin but not say anythin bout hanging out/or the job favor? I just dont know what to do considering he didnt know completely y we broke up and neither of us seemed happy bout it.*hes also been cheated on/lied 2 in ever relationship*
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female
reader, PixieGwen +, writes (19 July 2009):
PixieGwen is verified as being by the original poster of the question Update/Reply:I just wanted to say that your answer makes alot of sense - Ive actually thought that & considering he's seemed happy talkin to me - i wasnt sure what to think.When he txted me the other day that was all on his own - he never got my job related txt.I talked to him yesterday.accidentally called him - he called back & when I told him that he cont. to make convo.I told him if he really doesnt want to hang, its ok - people say that all the time but dont really mean it. He said "I really do wanna hang out & I dont see why not seeing youre cool with it".He mentioned that he's been layin low/tryin to get his stuff together.I said that I wasnt sure if he really wanted to hang or if it was just...me.He said "YOU ARE WRONG, U R SOOO WRONG, you have no idea how WRONG u are" Well how wrong am i? he said "if hot was wrong & cold was right..you'd be MAAAGMA".We talked bout hanging but he said he as a spending habit *I guess it doesnt matter whos paying*.It just seems like he likes to have the option to spend or know that he atleast has the money. I mentioned we could watch a movie - seein its free/not near anywhere u could spend.He said "yeah.thats a possibility".He seems determined to get his stuff together financially b4 hanging.Hes supposed to call me back to give me a website/work related crap.I sent him a msg lettin him know thingsll get better fo him & its justa rough patch.Not that he asked for my opinion but i want him to know I care & understand.I left him a voicemail later on lettin him know that I realized that this wknd is the only time im free to hang b4 my trip & ts upto him but just lettin him know*seein he said previously that he was def goin to see me b4 I leave*.This was last night. Havent heard back.I really dont care if we hang, itd be nice but as long as he returns my call..thats all that matters.consdering I think its common sense/courteous to return calls..regardless of the situation.
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (19 July 2009):
 Isn't it easier to work together than it is for both of you to do so separate? During these hard financial times, couples need the support of the other one. This is what builds strength to get through. Too often, such as what he was saying, the feeling of letting someone else down becomes stronger than the need to work together.
In any relationship both people carry certain strengths that the other one doesn't have. Instead of keeping their relationship strong, so many are ending it because of the external stress these situations have. Then becoming separate, relying on the strengths of one, which is difficult compared to two people comforting each other and working toward the same goals.
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