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Need suggestions on getting over a first love...

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 May 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 25 May 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

How long did it take to get over your first love? I was with mine for 25 Months and 15 Months on from the Split i still think of him everyday is this normal??

We split up due to him wanting space, there is no one else with him and never has been, he had a emotional breakdown due to issues in his life

Please state if your male or female

thank you xx

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A female reader, ixia Australia +, writes (25 May 2009):

Female -just relating my experience

I loved someone once in my life, the relationship was my first and it lasted a month. It has been ten years, and I have had many relationships since then, with 'better' men ie. mature, caring, honest, kind, good looking etc. my longest relationship was for 3 years.

But even after 10 years, I still feel numb and I will honestly state that I never loved, nor felt anything much for any of those men after him. My first relationship, was the only time I ever loved, and it has been 10 years since then, I have had no feelings for anybody else.

All I wanted and still want is to feel that happiness that I felt that first time, to surpass it even. Since the time I first experienced loving someone, to feel that happiness again has been the greatest desire of my life.

I realised from experiencing falling in love, that to love someone, is the best and most important part of who I am. The most painful feeling is to yearn to feel that happiness from loving someone, and yet to feel nothing. To have te most important part of your life empty, to be unable to express/show the best part of yourself.

I have not loved him for many years now. But till today, he is the only one I have ever loved.

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A female reader, SirenaBlusera Mexico +, writes (25 May 2009):

SirenaBlusera agony auntA lot depends on the person, but you have to find something to heal your broken heart.

Florentino Ariza (from love in the time of cholera) was heartbroken when his girlfriend Fermina rejected him and he initiated a series of love affairs to heal his broken heart.

I don't recommend doing this, but he was on the right track. My heart was very badly broken by a man, and while I don't think I'll even get over it, I have moved on with my life, and found things that bring you joy.

We all need to have passion in our lives, and if a relationship doesn't work out, we need something to throw our heart into, to fill the void. I have all this love inside me and need an outlet, so I turned to music.

Also, I'm going to Spain later this year. I've dreamt of going to Spain since I was a li'l tot, and I've never been and I'm gonna fix that. I think that making one of my dreams come true is just what the doctor ordered.

What are your dreams? What is your passion? Dreams are the things that make life worth living, and no one can take them away from you.

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A female reader, aphexinfinite United Kingdom +, writes (24 May 2009):

aphexinfinite agony auntfemale = i was with my first for 3 yrs and after we split up due to certain reasons i can not exploit. it took me a few months to get him out of my system but each week was hell. but as time grew it got much easier and i moved on. you will find love again and be happy. time is the essence and you must let it do its work. its more so harder when the split is due to them and not you it can take a few good months but no matter what with time it will get easier get back into the lifestyle you want see friends do hobbys you love get back to the person you want to become and with that you leave the past were it belongs. good luck aphex xx

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A female reader, sweetheart1nonly United States +, writes (24 May 2009):

I am a female. Mine, He was my first love but he has had other relationships before me. We split up about a month or less. I'm still dealing with it, and still hoping we get back. I don't believe I would even fall in love again.

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