A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I desperately need help trying to get over someone I love dearly. I oftentimes question myself as to why I even still love him after all the hurt and pain that he has caused me. I have been with him for 4 years. We have a beautiful daughter who is 1 years old. I have always been faithful to him. He cheated on me while I was pregnant and I also contracted an STD at the time. Thank God it was curable. Now it has happened again which once again I went and got treated. I think the reason I am holding on is because I want my daughter to have both parents (I was raised by my mom and grandmother). But after this second time of me catching the STD as much as I want to get past it and move on, I can't and it is starting to escalate. I don't want my daughter to witness us always fighting. How do I get over him?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2008): Thanks so much to both of the (Tisha and Gina) for your responses. It really helps because I have not spoken to anybody about it due to being embarassed. I actually burst out and told my mom today after a heated argument with him today. I feel bad because she is visiting for Christmas and has to deal with this. I just have to push my feelings to the side, become stronger and move on. Thanks.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (28 December 2008):
 You know, your daughter will still have both her parents. They just won't be living together, and that will be healthier for you and her in the long run. He's obviously a slow learner, as he's brought home an STD not just once, but twice. And he risked your daughter's health at the same time he risked yours. He's an idiot, he's selfish and cannot understand that his behavior has consequences for him AND for you and your daughter.
I would imagine that you are holding on, hoping for that magical happy ending with him. That he'll somehow miraculously change and turn faithful and be a loving partner to you and a wonderful father to his daughter. I think only the wonderful father bit is possible. If you break up with him and leave, that happy ending will slip further away.
So end the fighting; just leave, or kick him out if it is your place. He should be a part of his daughter's life, but it doesn't have to be in the same house as you. I think you need to get some support and help from your friends and family.
There was a very good article written a little while back here, the link is here:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-to-get-over-your-ex.html
It may be of some assistance in planning your split.
I do wish you and your daughter well. Out there, there's a guy who will want to be with you and only you. A guy you can trust with your life and health, just as you are an honorable woman, he is an honorable man. But as long as you're with Mr. STD-getter-and-irresponsible-sharer, you'll never get to meet him.
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