A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi I need advice what to do, been seeing a lovely guy for around 8months, never really argued, treated eachother equally, he rings me all the time, he works away and just got back home and rang me, everything was fine, and he said he had a lot to do at home this time around, so i thought about him and the pressure his under and said if you have a lot to do we can always see eachother the next time your home (really not wanting to do it but thinking of him), he went crazy down the phone saying his sick of this and put the phone down, i was in shock, i never rang back, and now its been a week and he hasnt contacted me, and i havent called him, what shall i do, do i leave it until he rings me, or do you think its over, oh what do i do, i have cried every day over this? please help x Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (17 April 2008):
 This guy has a lot of anger issues, I mean you ring him up to try and arrange a meeting with you and then he jumps down your throat. He is in the wrong not you, so next time he rings up tell him straight that he has upset you with his behaviour and rudeness.
He has got to learn that the way he treated you was totally unacceptable and you will not tolerate his rudeness. Let him contact you, otherwise he will think that you are a pushover and has the right to treat you like dirt. Do not waste any more tears on him Hun, he is simply not worth it. Dusky xxx.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2008): I would not call him. The way he reacted shows unstability and some mental issues that you don't need to deal with. Even if he were hurt, a normal reaction would be to say something like "well, I am busy but we could get together for a little while, unless you don't want to" I would just let it be and if he does call you & you want to see him, then go ahead but be careful because that could be a red flag for sure.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers + ♥, writes (17 April 2008):
You should ring him. This was a misunderstanding of some kind so he obviously feels hurt by something that's not real. However, in his mind at the moment it's your fault.
Ring him and ask to talk about it, tell him you don't understand what you did wrong. Was it How you said it? Or did he mis-hear you?
I don't understand why you haven't acted sooner. Are you always the one who waits for him to do everything? You may be putting lots of effort into thinking how he feels, but have you made the effort to physically make his life easier? Gone to see him, instead of letting him travel to you?
You haven't put any detail down so I am guessing a lot but if someone was angry with me, I'd not sit on my arse in trauma for a week, I'd phone them and find out why.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
male
reader, guillaume + ♥, writes (17 April 2008):
Hi,
It's obviously a definite misunderstanding between you both. OK, he was busy, under pressure, blah blah.
However, he is still at fault for being rude to you. Let's be clear, you were not asking him for the world and you didn't suggest to see him immediately. You like him and you did what most people would do, suggesting another time and taking account of his needs.
His reaction was not called for! (possible red flag, just be careful!)
So, you now have 2 options, wait for him or get in touch. I would send an email, nothing too long, and just say you enjoy his company and when he is less busy, please call.
See what happens after this. He probably was having a bad day but it still doesn't give him the right to be rude to you. best wishes, G.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (17 April 2008):
 It could have been a misunderstandings of your intentions.
You could call him up and asked him what was the matter and why he was angry.
If you were wrong , you would apologize to him.
You need to communicate with each other.
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