A
female
age
30-35,
*ittleRobyn
writes:Hiya..im really confused over what to do!I had my first baby in the middle of november, me and the father were not together when i gave birth and hadnt been for about 2 weeks.. he wasnt there when she was born, and saw he for the first time when she was bout 4 days old.when she was a week old, i went to get her registered, but didnt tell him, hes not on the birth certificate and she has my last namea week after that we got back together..i told him i got her registered last week, and showed him the certificate last night.. to save arguements, i said that they've messed it up by giving her my last name and not his and we can get it changed..but i do want her to have mine, and i know that to have her name changed, he has to be added anyway, but he doesnt know he's not on it!im so worried and i dont know what to do, i know if i tell him i want her to keep my name he'll kick off big time and i don't want the arguements.. but i cant just do everything he wants...i wish id of just told him when we werent together that i was going to get her registered it would of saved so much trouble. but i didn't... i dont know what to do...
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male
reader, steaknife  +, writes (21 December 2008):
my father's not on my birth certificate, and they've been together for several years before i was born. even after they got married my name's not changed and that's been about 8 years since they've gotten married on Christmas eve. and i think that being truthful to yourself is the best thing to do.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2008): You are beig deceitful. He's better off without you.
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A
male
reader, sommerslover +, writes (21 December 2008):
 I would tell him that should you two get married, at that time you will change her last name. Until that happens, her name stays as it is.
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A
female
reader, starfairy +, writes (21 December 2008):
 Hun, I know this is probably not the answer youw ant to hear, but is he really worth it? Even if you had broken up, shouldn't he have put any differences aside and been there to see his child, and been there for you, who went through the pain and stress of labour and birth, bringing his child into this world??Sure he has rights to being the father of the child, but he couldn't be bothered to be there for the hardest part of the pregnancy, how does he deserve to have his daughter have his surname? You went through it alone, and you deserve to choose what surname she has. If it's that big of a deal that you're so stressed out about his reaction, is he worth it??
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A
female
reader, Cuddlybear +, writes (21 December 2008):
 I personally would just be truthful, if you continue to lie or say that they made a "mistake" things will get worse, tell him how you we're feeling at the time & why you didnt add his name. If he doesnt understand then maybe reconsider adding him somehow, i wouldnt make too much of a big deal of it, aslong as your child is happy, healthy and well loved, thats all that's important.
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