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My wonderful wife won't indulge mild foot fetish. Any ideas why?

Tagged as: Marriage problems, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 June 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 19 July 2010)
A male United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I have a bit of a foot fetish. It's not excessive, I just like to see my wife barefoot, and enjoy it when she occasionally rubs her feet on my penis. My wife knows all of this, and isn't opposed to any of it, but she never indulges me. I've told her on a number of occasions that I like to see her barefoot around the house now and then, but she insists of wearing socks, and usually both shoes and socks, at all times except to bed. She even does this when it's abnormally hot and she's complaining about how hot she is.

During sex she is almost always barefoot, but several times she's mentioned taking her socks off like it was a hassle and that she just did it for me (like it's some big inconvenience to her or a huge demand from me.) She accepts it when a few times a year I have her rub my penis with them (for a minute at most) but she never initiates it herself, though I tell her every time she does it that I really enjoy it.

It's almost as if she's passive aggressive about this, intentionally not doing these things she knows I like. I don't feel like I'm asking for a lot. When it's 100 degrees outside and she's complaining how hot it is, I'll suggest she take her shoes off (in a way that makes it clear I'd find it sexy) and she'll ignore me (or say something like "I'm just used to wearing shoes.")

In just about every other facet of our relationship she's very understanding, willing to compromise, and attentive to what I like or don't like. I'm that way with her as well, so I don't think she's doing it as a "punishment" for anything I'm failing to do for her (when it comes to romance/sex, I happily do the things she asks for and likes.)

Any ideas why she'd be like this? I wonder if she finds it weird and won't tell me, but she's told me other things I liked were weird and she'd prefer not to do them, and I made sure she knew that was OK with me. I'm stumped, and bummed my wife is so unwilling to indulge what seems like a pretty harmless fetish/fantasy.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2010):

I have a bf with the same thing, its a bit of a set back for her. try starting slowly, her putting her feet on you is pushing it for someone who would rather not. Try setting up a random romantic night, flowers candles, the whole package. Get a tub and make it into a little spa for her, give her a nice foot massage and lotion after. Talk about what she likes and try doing that for her and why she seems opposed to this. I would also suggest droping conversation about her feet in bed, she might see it as weird and a turn off

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2010):

if that was me i wouldnt initiate it either. i mean i would probably walk around the house barefoot but notthe other stuff, I dont like feet at all and i think it would feel a bit strange to rub them on a mans penis. But she does do it if you bring it up, so its not like she is refusin to do it...

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