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My wife wants to "do" me with a strapon... Surely to God this isn't natural?

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 September 2005) 20 Answers - (Newest, 27 July 2010)
A male , anonymous writes:

me and my wife have a good sex life but she wants to try anal on me with toys then a strapon we like to try new things but her doing it to me doesnt seem natural. if we do try anyone got any advice on best strapon(small plz) best lube and best positions to do it in. thank you.

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A female reader, didi_di Israel +, writes (27 July 2010):

my husband wanted to make anal sex. I didn't like this idea.

I told him that i will agree if he let me to do it with him.

I like when he wear my panties and my bra and I use strapon. He like it, and now he can dom anal sex.

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A male reader, LILDUD United States +, writes (27 June 2010):

I'm in the same boat. My wife just resently started letting me in the back door. Last night while we were on a date she told me that she wants to return the favor. My cock started throbbing. So while in the movie theater she gave me a handjob to release the pressure. On the way home we stopped at the sex shop to get the toys. today will be the day............... so excited

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A male reader, green024 United States +, writes (3 August 2009):

yes the best position to start is on your side with the top leg pulled up toward your chest and it is a little wierd at first just because but it also goes easier with a couple of drinks and it will hurt at first but that goes away and it starts to feel okay and after a couple times it gets pretty good and for a strap on just do google shopping and make sure to get one that has something to go in her as well you can get good ones on internet for about 60 dollars that vibrate as well

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2009):

dont do it...

if you like to fuck your old lady

my girlfriend and i tried it and she loved it and i loved it and it totally replaced our sex.

she came home with bigger and bigger strapons and i spent hours learning how to deep throat and take it like crazy every nite.

all i dreamnt about was what a real cock would be like and what it must be like to have a man cum in my mouth.

we have since split up and it took me a couple years to find a man large enough to match her huge strap on.

i live with a man now and he is as big as those strap ons and he is horny as hell. Getting fucked in the ass for a man is the ultimate and pleasing a man orally is so hot after i got a taste for his cum.

I never ever thought I would be here 5 years later and I was a very macho type guy... never would consider this life

Im so glad she brought it home and we did it.

yea lots a lube and you will be thinking about cock all the time hehe good luck

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A male reader, previasc96 United States +, writes (19 August 2008):

Dude! You are soooooo LUCKY! I wish i could convince my girl to take me with a strap-on! I've been analy masturbating from my early teens. I too have used large cucumbers, but when i was old enough to go to the adult store, i bought myselt some dildoes. It's best you introduce yourselt to anal first. Use a small butt plug and plenty lube. Than graduate to a bigger size toy. At this point, you should let your wife participate.

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A male reader, happyreceiver United States +, writes (30 June 2008):

Natural-no, incredible-yes. Buy a realistic dildo and harness, get some silicone lube(expensive but amazing), hand it all to your wife and ask her to ride you hard and deep. And if it was really her idea, consider yourself lucky. Hope that she likes it as much as you are going to so you don't have to spend the rest of your life begging. Start off with lots of lube and procede very slow and don't give up if it takes a long time. The orgasm you will have will be like nothing you have ever felt before. Beleive Me!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2008):

I can't wait to have my girlfriend try a strap on on me! I always get a cucumber from the grocery store once a week and do myself with it, putting it between the mattress and boxspring, DOGGY STYLE!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2007):

Nothing ventured,nothing gained........a nice 5-6" strapon with you lubed aswell as it is the most intense orgasm as you will ever have,unless you do puff aswell,start slow then build up when you start to moan and enjoy and feel the pleasure.

On your back whilst being wanked is soooooooo goood

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A female reader, AlexiaS Switzerland +, writes (29 September 2007):

I agree with princesslandonly. But also try to be a bit open and relax. There is really nothing to worry about.

I happened to me after five years of relationship, when I wanted to try something new. First I didn't dare to tell it to my boyfriend but then I ordered a catalogue of toys. Watching it with him I pointed at a strapon and began kidding about having a penis. My former boyfriend acted like amused and then asked me: are you serious. I just filled out the form and ordered it. When it arrived, I took the strapon out and put it in my locker. After a while, it was him that asked me about the strapon and like this I began fingering his ass...

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A female reader, AlexiaS Switzerland +, writes (29 September 2007):

I agree with princesslandonly. But also try to be a bit open and relax. There is really nothing to worry about.

I happened to me after five years of relationship, when I wanted to try something new. First I didn't dare to tell it to my boyfriend but then I ordered a catalogue of toys. Watching it with him I pointed at a strapon and began kidding about having a penis. My former boyfriend acted like amused and then asked me: are you serious. I just filled out the form and ordered it. When it arrived, I took the strapon out and put it in my locker. After a while, it was him that asked me about the strapon and like this I began fingering his ass...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2007):

have her get the Nexus jr fits nicely in the harnes and its a double ended dildo--I use one on my hubby and we really enjoy it. Oh and lube lube and more lube.------------------------------Jeanie-Marie-------------------------------------------have fun

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2006):

I love my girlfriend doing me with a dildo. Stimlulation of the prostate cause me to have really intense orgasms. try it, trust me you will love it!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2005):

Don't do it!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2005):

Good for you. 1) Start small - these things are bigger than you think. 2) over-lube. 3) most importantly, talk a lot about expectations - hearing why she wants to do this to/with you may help you learn a lot and be a huge turn on! You will be eager to try

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2005):

I think is great to try new things i did with my boyfriend and took it slow at first did it with my finger and when he got use to it i started with the dildo and he does me too, now he loves it and we do each other.I personally started at 47 and im 50 now and i love it.He turned me on to it and now i turned him on, we enjoy it to the fullest.Good luck.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2005):

For one congrats you have missed the married and bored sex-life bullet. First i would like to coment dont do it if you dont feel confertable, there are plenty of other sexual outlets that you can try. Its not worth doing then feeling uneasy around each other for a couple of weeks. As for type of toys i recomend smooth ones that are only 6 in by 1 1/2 in for, i this for twon reasons. For one your new to the game and it can hurt, two its seems your insecure about so you dont want anything that looks like the real thing becouse it may freak you out. As always there is no such thing as too much lube.

In the end ( no pun intended) its up to you but make sure you convey your feelings to your partner before and after.

Good luck

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A reader, pops +, writes (10 September 2005):

The so-called male G-spot referred to above is actually the prostate gland. And, yes, many men, if not most, experience a pleasurable sensation if it is stimulated, either by fingers, or dildoes. As for choice of dildoes to use with a strap on harness, stay with the smaller diameter, smooth ones, to begin with. After you have some experience and find this adds rather than detracts from your sex life, you can increase the diameter, and go for the ones with bumps, or veins, or twists,etc. She will get pleasure from the base of the dildo bumping into her pubic arch, and possibly, her clitorus, when she is doing you. She does not have to nerve endings in the dildo to feel your response. Use lots of Lube. KY is ok, but it is pretty thin, and has to be replenished often. Try Astroglide, or something like it, which has a thicker viscosity. You can't use too much lube. Go very slow when you start. Use lubed fingers( with a comdom on it or them, eventually) to stretch both sphincter muscles in the rectum. The tissues in a rectum are much thinner than the tissue in the walls of a vagina, so be very careful how frisky you are when engage in anal sex. Both of you. There is an excellent video out their, Nina Hartley's Guide to Anal Sex, which is a must for you both to view. Almost everyone who tries anal sex successfully reports that the orgasms they have with anal are the most intense climaxes they have ever experienced. The hardest part about doing anal is learning to relax those muscles. It can take months and even years of trying to get it right, so don't ever rush this. If you feel pain, you are doing something wrong. Stop! Figure out what it is, and make a change.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2005):

What's natural?

trust me any guy who hasn't had anal ex is missing out. I first descovered the pleasure you can get from your bum at about 15y/o. you see, the mans G sport is about 1 1/2 -2 inches up his ass. stroking it can be extremely pleasureable, plus unlike normal orgasms, it lasts for ages.

If you're not sure try anal sex at home alone. start with your finger (you have total control of whats in up then), push it in and stroke it towards you balls. there yourll feel a rounded area, that's your G spot. try stroking ut, as you get morecomfortable try 'fucking' you bum with your finger.

i've been 'doing' myself for about 12 years now and find it a great alternative to the usual orgasm.

lube wise, use the normal KY, after more experience youll be able to get away with spit or if youre feeling adventurous try household goods like creams, ice cream, sauces (NOT chilli sauce!)

Strap-on, size isn't an issue. try a thin ribbed one, they enter easily and the ribbs really stroke to right bits. when you get more confident try a 'life-size' strap-on, mine is 12" long and 3.5" girth.

position, i liek one of two positions, firstly on all fours (doggy) easy enter and feels good. The other is on your back, bit harder to get it up but the rubbing is more

intense.

To summaries, let her do it, im sure you'll love it, but hey if not, then leave it as a one off experience.

enjoy

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2005):

Tell her that its one for one - you do her and then she does you up the ass. I never tried but gather that a lot of lube is required and a slow penetration. Seeing as a strap on has no nerves I am not sure what pleasure she will derive. If she thinks she is making you happy tell her to stop! Good luck.

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A female reader, princess1andonly +, writes (9 September 2005):

too be honest with you you have nothing to worry about, if you are not 100% comfortablewith your wife doing this then you shouldnt have to feel forced to do so.. tell your wife exactly how your feeling about the situation.

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