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My wife wants me to sleep with her sister...is that wrong?

Tagged as: Cheating, Family, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 July 2007) 20 Answers - (Newest, 5 December 2009)
A male United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

Dear Cupid, I have a good relationship with my wife even though there was some infidelity on my wife's part a few years ago. Her sister has also been a victim of infidelity, and hasn't had sex in years with her husband who is just not interested in sex with her.

My wife told me how bad she feels for her sis who is very sexually deprived by a cheating husband. I feel bad for her sis, I always had a good relationship with her and there has been some sexual inuendo between us over the years. My wife told me she wants me to go and have sex with her sister. Her sis is all for it. My wife told us both that we could have sex anytime we wanted to.

It has yet to happen for other reasons, but I find myself lusting over the thought of having sex with her sis everyday. I know this is wrong in a way, but her sis and I have both suffered infidelity on the other side. I never cheated on my wife and I did have a few chances to, but the thought of risking my marriage was not worth it to me, as it was for my wife.

Being that my wife is OK with this, and seems to be turned on by it all as well, is having sex with her sister all that wrong?

View related questions: cheated on my wife, infidelity, not interested in sex

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2009):

Tell your wife that you will do it on one condition, That she joins the two of your. What are you waiting on. Go tell your wife....

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2009):

Your wife and sister in law may want you to do it because your SIL wants to have sex with someone she has a close bond with. Wether its right or wrong by public opinion, it just has to feel right.

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A male reader, justincarin United States +, writes (23 November 2009):

I know this is quite untimely, however, I must share my opinion, as it seems just about everyone else has not mentioned it. Do you have sex with your wife's sister? You may once, but when the second time comes around, expect to be having sex with the two sisters. Your wife has cheated on you, something was missing in your relationship and now, either through an effort to balance the playing field, or for her selfish desire, she wants to to plug her sister. I say it is her selfish desire to have her sister join the two of you in bed.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2009):

Do you realy believe all would be rosy if you took her up on the offer. There are many reasons a wife may want you to sleep with another woman.

it could be feelings of guilt for her affair, in the hope that she would feel all was equal again. But that would not be the case because the circumstances would not be the same or the feelings involved.

It could be that she feels insecure about if you could be tempted, using her sister is a good way to test this especialy if she has noticed a bit of flirting going on.

If it was me I would refuse the offer point blank. I would offer to arrange a mate to sort her out, this way it shows you love your wife above all others, that you would never cheat on her but are willing to help out her sister in a way that does not threaten your relationship

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2009):

Do it. Its incredibly hot, and if your wife and her sister are for it fantastic. My wife wanted me to sleep with her sister and after 10 years I did, and it was fantastic. My wife was so turned on that it has been fuel for sex talk for years.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2008):

Do it! R u crazy...tell your wife to join in or wait up for you. I have done things like this and afterwards, I totally ravaged my woman.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2008):

I say go for it, but your wife is using it to validate what she has, is, or will be doing. I missed out on several opportunities like this with my ex and her friends. I decided to stay true and missed my chance for some hot three and foursomes. Then I found out she was cheating on me anyway and we divorced. If I had seen the signs for what they were I would have jumped at that chance, but I missed out.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2008):

I thinnk it's fine to have sex with your wife's sister to provide the physical sex we all need but you need to be careful not to develop the wrong sort of feelings for wach other.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2008):

your relationship is lost. if she tells you to sleep with someone else she's seeking validation to do so herself. bottom line is, you should do it. She's pretty much looking for a reason to end it (which is what this will be). so you might as well enjoy yourself before she finds a less enjoyable way of breaking up with you.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2007):

it seems as if your wife may STILL be cheating. no respecting woman would wish this. it seems like she IS testing you to find out. watch, a few weeks after you do it she may even mention another person on her end.

whats weird is that you don't see alot of males in this situation. you actually see females with husbands who behave that way. more power to you for me and you are on in the same.

word from the wise...your relationship may not be getting anywhere. sorry if too harsh

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2007):

Give 'er! I have wanted my wife's younger (by 3 years) sister for the last 7 years. If you can seal this you will be satisfied. Let them worry about all of the emotions and morality later - you've been green-lighted man. Do it for all of us that would love to but don't have the same blessing you do.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2007):

Go for it.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2007):

I don't know. I'm kind of surprised that everyone else says it's a bad idea. It sounds awfully hot to me.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2007):

what are you? nuts... dont do it man your asking a load of trouble

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2007):

OMG yea it is... don't do that!

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico + , writes (11 July 2007):

Danielepew agony auntI'm with Eddie.

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A female reader, happytochat Australia +, writes (11 July 2007):

I find it hard to understand why you wife would be ok with you sleeping with her sister. I mean if she feels so sorry for her sister why doesnt she set a male friend or something up with her, not her own husband.

I would be careful about going along with it, cause maybe like someone has already mentioned, shes just testing you, to see if you would really go alogn with it. Or maybe she honestly has no problem with sleeping with other people if shes encouraging you to be with her sister and shes cheated on you in the past. If this is the case then I would think twice about this relationship, as you mentioned before you would never cheat on your life, so why should you be with someone who has different values to you?

Personaly I think it is wrong, and although your wife might be ok with it at the moment, what if her feelings change, it could result in many issues. If you feel so sorry for her sister, there are other options for her to have sex.

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A male reader, eddie Canada +, writes (11 July 2007):

eddie agony auntIt sounds like all the players in this scenario have had rocky relationships. Do you think that sometimes people bring it on themselves? I'd suggest that you'd be creating a lot more heart ache. Really, of all the things your sister in law could do to get sex, does this sound like a good idea? Really?

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A female reader, BEEN THERE DONE IT United Kingdom +, writes (11 July 2007):

BEEN THERE DONE IT agony auntHi there hun,

Yes I am sorry this is wrong your wifes sister has problems with her own marriage and she really needs to be sorting this out with her own husband, having sex with you will not solve her problems it would just make them a whole lot worse hun...

You say your wife is okay with this well I am not too sure, once it has happened there is no turning back it could result in big problems in your own marriage and are you prepaired for that????

You married your wife not her sister so my blunt answer and I am sorry for being honest to you like this is

YES IT IS WRONG!!!!!

Tell your wife you married her and your love is for her only, you can both be there mentally for her sister in times of need but not in physical...

I think you know deep down this is wrong babes if the shoe were on the other foot would you want your wife sleeping with your brother???

Good luck, all the best

Love Donna x

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A female reader, love-him United Kingdom +, writes (11 July 2007):

love-him agony auntUm well either your wife is doing this, to actauly see if you would, or your wife has serious problems.. I honestly dont agree with this kind of thing, im sorry but i think there is no future for this relationship.. I hope i helped even if i was quite harsh. Mail me if you would like to talk x x

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