A
male
age
41-50,
GPALMER67
writes:Hi everyone, Ok, this is hard to talk about but I have to get some answers. I will start off by saying my wife and I have issues with sex. I want it all time and she doesn't want it at all....so she saids. So we talked about it and she agreed to have it twice a week to keep me happy. Which I thought would be great but it's not. She doesn't get involved what so ever when we have it. It's always at 12:30am or 1:00am and she tells me to hurry. She saids she doesn't feel like having sex at all because she feels like it is a job. She also feels that 2 times a week is to much sex. Having all this sex makes her not want to have a climax. Now I know it sounds like I suck at love making....lol not true. I know how to please a woman in many ways. When I first meant my wife she couldn't get enough of me. Now she don't want any. That was 4 years ago. It is all soooo confusing to me. Now we have been married for 6 years and have 2 kids. We both work she gets home a 4:30 and I get home around 6:30. We both have the weekends off. It's not like we are work alcoholics. Ok now a little about things at the house...I do everything basically. I cook, clean, pick up after everyone...etc. She does nothing accept play this game called world of warcraft...yes you heard me right she spends every waking hour playing that stupid game...Now my wife is very beautiful and shes not fat. She loves the game because she has made a lot of online friends. All guy friends. Now I know for a fact that the game has done damage to our marriage. One day I was looking in her a email and found a picture of her breasts that she sent to a college boy who also plays the game. I asked her about it and her response was it was a stupid thing to do and will never do it again. So I forgave her. LOL that night we really had great sex. Some of her guy friends have you cell number and they talk about the game through out the day. It is at a point now where I get no attention from her at all. Holding hands, kissing, etc. All I hear now is hurry up!! Can anyone here tell me what I have to do. I love my wife sooo much and she tells me like 10 times a day she loves me. One more thing...All I ask of you is to spend time with me act like I'm alive not a ghost. She doesn't get why I feel like I do. In her eyes shes playing me for a fool. I'm sooo ready to end it all.
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alcoholic, breasts, kissing, world of warcraft Reply to this Question |
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male
reader, mmarcos54  +, writes (10 January 2008):
Sorry about your situation i am in the same position and i realise Danielepew is a very balanced person and his advice is solid i am seriously considering leaving i have hinted it in the past but she thinks i am just joking she need to decide or move on in my case i don't see much for our future because she needs to mature and that could take 10 to never years. I would be the happiest man if she was mature enough to know when you comit to love someone you cannot invest in other relationships to betray honor and trust and if u do you are not in a position to commit to anyone who is serious i know in the future i will find someone and be happy and i will still love my son and support him sorry we could not give him a family.
A
male
reader, GPALMER67 +, writes (2 January 2008):
GPALMER67 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI want to thank everyone for there wonderful comments they posted. I think in a couple of months I will have to leave my wife behind. I talked to her about these things and she really doesn't care. All she did is yell and made me feel bad for wanting to spent time with her. She doesn't want the same. I'm done with trying to fix the problem.
Now how do I get a divorce without it financially killing me.
We have one daughter the age of 6, we rent from her mother. So theres really no huge thing to fight over. She has a good job and I would let her keep one of the cars. I know if I left her it wouldn't be good for my daughter at all. she would be in the same spot I was in.....8-(. It really sucks.
What do yo guys think would be the best coarse of action?
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A
male
reader, GPALMER67 +, writes (2 January 2008):
GPALMER67 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI want to thank everyone for there wonderful comments they posted. I think in a couple of months I will have to leave my wife behind. I talked to her about these things and she really doesn't care. All she did is yell and made me feel bad for wanting to spent time with her. She doesn't want the same. I'm done with trying to fix the problem.
Now how do I get a divorce without it financially killing me.
We have one daughter the age of 6, we rent from her mother. So theres really no huge thing to fight over. She has a good job and I would let her keep one of the cars. I know if I left her it wouldn't be good for my daughter at all. she would be in the same spot I was in.....8-(. It really sucks.
What do yo guys think would be the best coarse of action?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2007): Ahhh... World of Warcraft. That digital version of crack.Serious, when she isn't home one day just uninstall it and snap the cd and all the expansion packs. Then change the password on the internet so she can't log on.That way you have completely nipped it all in the bud. And tell her you won't give her the password until she starts showing you the attention you deserve. Or just generally treats you like you aren't a chore to get past to have fun.It may backfire, she may get really pissed (and probably will) but once the WoW withdrawals are over she'll be that sex crazed Nymph you married.Or just book a weekend away, a dirty weekend, without her knowing and whisk her away the moment she walks in the door. Blind-fold her and don't tell her what you have planned or where you are going. Just take her away and remind her what real-life has over showing her boobs to a nerdy college brat.You seem smart, use your brain here.Flynn 24
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2007): Tell her to get a grip...you shud stop doing all the work and tell her that she cant spend hours playing a game while your running the house.
Ask her why is she giving her cell phone number out to random guys on the internet? and that your sick and tired of the ways things are at the moment. Make sure she understands how close to "ending it all" you are and that she needs to make some changes!
Dont go on about the sex too much tho, first just concentrate on her understanding how annoyed you are at the general way of life.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2007): My husband lives in a fantasy world with your wife.
It could be that she is more emotionally invested in a fantasy than in you. Did she fall pray to a new addiction? Do you feel emotionally neglected?
I feel that if you don't stop her it may lead to phone calls to secret meetings. Also, I feel for you because every time I talk to my husband about this problem, he gets very defensive and denies that his secret life interferes with out marriage. Although, he did promise to stop aiming women he's been friends with "forever". You have to tell your wife what you cannot tolerate and she has to compromise. Set the boundaries. I don't know where to go from here myself because as I talk about this problem, he says it turns him off. It's a no win for me as I would imagine for you too. I hope you can stop focusing on sex and maybe she will come to her senses. I personally had sex with my ex as I continue working on our relationship with my husband. It has been a week since my husband had sex with me and he said I won't die if we won't have it for another week because he needs time to warm up to me and put my whining about lack of affection behind.
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A
female
reader, hello1  +, writes (20 December 2007):
 I won't say give up on the marriage yet, sit her and down and have a long talk with hrt, say your ready to leave this marriage if she dosen't change. Give her a chance too change, tell her she can't go on that game anymore! it's like a dating site and it sounds like she wants to cheat on you.
Get her to help around the house and do some cooking, it should be 50/50 in all house holds. Your being an PUSH OVER
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A
male
reader, Moviefan +, writes (20 December 2007):
 The best option looks like to me is to try to get her to stop playing MMO RPG(massivly multiplayer online game) which are known to be very addicting, thats how when everquest was the big mmo it had the nickname Evercrack. And its not normal for her or anyone to be constantly talking about a game when she should be living life. This is exactly why i avoided WoW(World of Warcraft). I have played free games that are similar and i got addicted and played it for days on end. Did the same thing with Elder Scrolls Oblivion very addicting games. An guy in tiawan died from playing wow to much if that says anything.
Its not totaly unusual for her to talk with people she knows from the game. Some of my best friends on the net i met in online games. I dont call them which i find odd personally but i do IM them a lot etc.
But you probably should ask her to stop playing the game for a while, like a month or two and see if she changes back to a state similar to what you remember. She probably wont be happy with you for the first week or so if she does stop becuase she is addicted but still.
I dont reccomend doing this but if she wont stop after several request or she wont get help becuase she is blind to the problem try this. This may hurt her trust or something you have been warned
And if she wont stop buy a cheap belkin G wireless router and use it to block her from accesing the WOW servers she has to connect to, to play. Say you have no clue why she cant connect. And if you have no use for a wireless router make sure you hide it. Its odd to have something that serves no purpose.
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A
female
reader, howcomehoney  +, writes (20 December 2007):
 Oh God, that's awful. She sends pictures of her breasts to other men? I'd be crazy jealous if that were me, especially considering her lack of attention towards you. It sounds like you have no intimacy in your relationship, I don't care how often she says she loves you.
Try talking to her and telling her how close you are to leaving her. If you can't get through this, maybe you're better off away from her. The real problem is your children. I'm sorry.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  + ♥, writes (20 December 2007):
 From your post, it seems your wife isn't committed to the relationship. I believe that her lack of interest in whatever happens at home, her children, et cetera, is a sure sign that there's very little in your relationship that interests her.
I don't think your sex life is ever going to improve. I find your experiences awful. I have taken note that you two had great sex the night you caught her sending a picture of her breasts to another man. It seems like she was making up for her fault. You could be having great sex if she wanted. Maybe she has even met one of these guys in real life. Who knows? You can't be sure, but you can't say it hasn't happened, either.
If I were you, I would want out of the marriage. Now, you have a lot of things to consider, and your children, too. Only you can make that decision. Me, I would leave.
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