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My wife likes endless fondling and foreplay with no sex. Any advice?

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Question - (14 April 2008) 6 Answers - (Newest, 29 April 2008)
A male United States age 30-35, *overture writes:

My wife likes to fondle. She loves to play with my penis (teasingly, really) every chance she gets. On my days off, she would want me to sit with her for hours sometimes just to talk and fondle.

I accommodate her a lot. Playing with my penis, she would put it in her mouth at times, but only teasingly -- no oral sex: she hates receiving and don't like to give. No penetration -- she even resists my advances.

It is getting very frustrating, as I love my wife and do not want to cheat on her. We do love each other as best as I can tell. Our dynamic is otherwise perfect, except for the lack of penetrative (or even oral) sex.

But I am afraid that I am running out of options.

View related questions: foreplay, my penis, oral sex, teasing

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A male reader, loverture United States +, writes (29 April 2008):

loverture is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks everyone for the replies. My wife and I are a very young couple. We met towards the end of college. And I am the only intercourse experience she has had. Every time we actually have intercourse, she has an orgasm and wet me all over. I am not sure if she is a bit embarrassed about that -- if she is it's not obvious. Also she is very loud when we actually get to have intercourse. So to the best of my knowledge, when we do have intercourse, she really enjoys it. She just seem not to be into frequent sexual intercourse -- we would go close to a week or even more without it if I don't try very hard. And we have been married for almost three years now.

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A male reader, loverture United States +, writes (29 April 2008):

loverture is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks everyone. My wife and I are a very young couple. We met towards the end of college. And I am the only intercourse experience she has had. Every time we actually have intercouse, she has an orgasm and wet me all over. I am not sure if she is a bit embarrassed about that -- if she is it's not obvious. Also she is very loud when we actually get to have intercourse. So to the best of my knowledge, when we do have intercourse, she really enjoys it. She just seem not to be into frequent sexual intercourse -- we would go weeks without it if I don't try very hard. And we have been married for almost three years now.

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A female reader, natasia United Kingdom +, writes (14 April 2008):

natasia agony auntIt sounds to me like she hasn't had sex before. And although she is intrigued by your penis, she is also scared of it. I think you need to talk to her and establish exactly what's going on before you can move things on (which you need to do - it can't stay like this forever).

I think the signs are good, though: she's not rejecting you - she does want close physical contact with you - she's just not confident going further. You need to address this. Good luck.

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A male reader, pyan Australia +, writes (14 April 2008):

Hi

have you taken her out and wined and dine her. that may help relaze her a bit.

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A female reader, LittleTwoLegs United States +, writes (14 April 2008):

LittleTwoLegs agony auntHmmm...I can't exactly give answers on this one, but I am curious as to how much sexual experience she has had in the past. Only within the marriage, or has she been with other men before? Is she somewhat younger than you? Hopefully I don't sound ignorant, but it sounds as though she's illprepared or not emotionally comfortable enough in general to loosen herself up to the idea of such an intimate affair. She sounds a little on guard...just thinking out loud!

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A male reader, DoubleM United States + , writes (14 April 2008):

DoubleM agony auntActually, you have at least the seeds of a wonderful relationship - because an ample amount of foreplay is an essential prelude to sexual activity, especially for the woman. The one troubling thing you said is "a lack of penetration." That is very strange. Do you mean that your wife will not allow sexual intercourse? If that is the case, then you should be concerned that you have a very serious problem in your marriage. Counseling seems in order.

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