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My wife just wants oral!

Tagged as: Marriage problems, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 September 2010) 10 Answers - (Newest, 14 September 2010)
A male United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

My wife does not want intercourse or me to touch her, she only wants to do oral to me?

she used to never want to do that at all?

It has went on for months. I dont know what to think?

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A female reader, birdynumnums Canada +, writes (14 September 2010):

birdynumnums agony auntWell, I for one would miss pleasuring my partner even if they are continuing to please me, that's all part of having a sexual relationship. If you wife is in the same age group as you, mid-thirties, that is usually a time of sexual renaissance for most women and most women want MORE sex at this age. I'm going to have to agree with DrLance and q, something isn't quite right here and you need to get to the bottom of it...

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A female reader, tennisstar88 United States +, writes (13 September 2010):

tennisstar88 agony auntWell, that I have never heard of..like everyone said that's really odd for just one to receive and not the other or no intercourse involved. We usually get men on hear complaining about their wife not wanting to give their husband oral, they only like to be on the receiving end. But I can see where there's slight intimate issues. I agree it does sound fishy, so the next time she engages in that activity stop her and ask what is going on, why doesn't she want intercourse, tell her you do like the oral, but you would like it much better if you can make love to her.

Another thought that can to mind was maybe when you asked for oral a while ago she took it as that's all you wanted?

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (13 September 2010):

Miamine agony auntDoes she have thrush? (can develop without sexual activity)

Ask her what's wrong and please come back and update your post.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (13 September 2010):

eyeswideopen agony auntIs she worried about pregnancy?

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A male reader, dirtball United States +, writes (13 September 2010):

dirtball agony auntMan, doesn't sound so bad to me. My guess is that there is something going on with her. She may not be feeling well "down there" and is trying to keep you satisfied while dealing with it on her own.

Have you tried talking to her? Have you let her know that you love what she does and want her to feel good too? Have you asked her if everything is ok? Such a drastic change is always concerning. I hope you can find the reasons for the change.

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A female reader, mselu08 United States +, writes (13 September 2010):

She doesn't want to have sex. For some reason she has lost her sex drive and interest in having sex. It could be because she has developed a self image problem, or it could be a hormone problem. The good news is, by giving you oral sex, she is still concerned with keeping you satisfied. I know this because I went through it myself. You need to talk to her about it though and make sure there isn't a more serious problem. Be understanding and sympathetic when you talk to her though. Don't attack her and make her feel like she's ruining the relationship like my husband did to me. Her loss of sex drive is more than likely out of her control. Be thankful that she is still concerned with satisfying you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2010):

How long have you been married? Has she ever flip-flopped on her sexual preferences before? Maybe this is just a phase...a fetish for a while. Something she saw or read? If not, it is admittedly a bit odd to deny intercourse. You need to discuss it with her. There could be problems brewing. I'm not saying she's having an affair, But it would potentially be easier to have one and keep the other man around if she was telling him she had not had sex with you in months...which I guess could technically be true depending on how one looks at it.

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A male reader, Kenj United Kingdom +, writes (13 September 2010):

Kenj agony auntYou need to have a talk with her and find out what her reasons are. There could be all sorts of reasons but you will only find out by talking.

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A male reader, Dr.LanceMerryweather United Kingdom +, writes (13 September 2010):

Dr.LanceMerryweather agony auntI'd personally be very suspicious. In fact, I would say she may be having an affair and to keep both of you sweet, she's not allowing you to have her vagina, thereby attempting to alleviate some guilt, but keeping you satisfied with oral, which she is not giving 'him'.

I hope for your sake I'm wrong, but this does sound mighty suspicious. Be prepared for the worst - hope it turns out for the best.

Good luck.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2010):

Why are you moaning a lot of guys would love oral off their wives, enjoy it your a very luck chap

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