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My wife has been going through a very hard time in her life, I want to help her but i don't know how. Any advice?

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 April 2007) 1 Answers - (Newest, 15 April 2007)
A male United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Hi im 33 and happily married to my wife of 7 years.

Recently my wife has been going through a very hard time in her life, i want to help her but i don't know how. When i ask her if theres anything i can do that would make her feel better she just says that me putting up with her and wanting her is what keeps her going. Well,where to start? Shes a teacher which as you can imagine can be pretty stressful, shes recently lost her dad but is trying not to show her feelings but sometimes is finding it hard to keep it in at hoem although i have told her not to and that it won't help. One reason she won't cry or anything is because we have two daughters and he doesn't want to upset them, although one of them does go out a fair bit and the other is only 16 months old. Ican't seem to get her to talk to me or anything i don't know what to do to help her. At first the stress from work was making her abit upset and vunleable but i think loseing her dad has just made it all worse. I've asked her if she wants to see the doctor to see if theres anything he can do but she says she'll feel better in time she just needs to get her life back, only now shes got it into her head that i'm gonna get sick of her and leave her which isn't true and she knows it but you know what women get like when they get somehting in their heads. When we take the dog a walk and things she just seems ot be in a world of her own. I did make the mistake of asking if there was anything in our realationship that she was unhappy with becuase i couldn't help but wonder if there was more to it but she said there wasn't and she seemed very upset as if she though i was going to leave but i said sorry and told her that i thought there might be something else behind it all. I know shes gone through alot but i hate to see her upset,shes even ended up cryng herself to sleep some nights,she says she not depressed or anything she just needs me which is why i'm writing this question i need advice on how to get her through all this i'm not to good when it comes to people being upset so could you please help id really appreciate it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2007):

Something is definitely bothering her, maybe it's more than just loosing her dad. I may be wrong but she should be able to open up to you since you are so concerned and caring, I feel bad for you that she feels as if she can't talk to you. She is lucky to have a husband that wants to listen, unlike mines. But you know, people are different and they handle situations in various ways, I think that you should continue to be there for her. Let her know that it kills you inside to see her like this and you want to help her.Just pour your heart out to her.I am sorry to ask this, but do you think that there is any chance that she may have fallen for someone else ??? you should look out for signs. Good luck

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