A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been in a very healthy relationship with my American wife here for the last ten months. We met through Online dating and remained in a relationship for one year before getting married December last year in Pakistan and then moved to USA after one week of our wedding . Honestly speaking, I got married to her just to get myself landed in the USA and get Green Card. My wife is 3 years younger than me , she is pretty and carrying beyond description but I haven’t told her about my initial selfish desires to marry her just for Green Card. Seriously, now I love her with all sincerity and she’s more than happy with me. So, we seem to have no problem but she always complains that if I'm happy being with her, then why I sing these songs in bathroom? She even gets the mood of my native language Urdu songs as well and stresses on me to sing happy ones. I have told her several times that I don't have any issue related to past or present that makes me sad but it's just singing sad songs brings the best out of me. Oh yeah, she says I have got divine voice but she has a big problem with me singing sad songs. For her, now I wana switch to happy songs but every time I start singing the sad one gets bigger one me and I get lost in a flow . I have been into this habit since I was 10 years old and my family members to had problem with it back in Pakistan. Sometimes, I also tease her start singing sad songs while looking into her eyes….she gets irritated big time saying "Oh God, not again". How can this tendency of mine can affect our healthy husband-wife relationship and how should I get rid of it? Or it’s not a big issue and she will get used to it? Help from you guys on this would be highly appreciated here. Thanks!
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female
reader, carebare  +, writes (12 October 2011):
I think you should talk to her and just try to get her to explain why sad songs bother her so much. I mean, most people sing songs just because they like the lyrics or the tune and not necessarily because they are in that mood at the time.
Maybe for a while try to also sing "happy" songs and sad ones but what you really have to do is figure out why it upsets her.
Wishing you the best
A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (12 October 2011):
 She can get over it. Perhaps you can ask her why she suspects that you think there is something wrong in the relationship, since this has been your life time habit. We all have our private quirks. Tell her she has one too and you don't mind a bit and take it personally.
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