A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I live in India. The problem is every time my wife and my mother fight each other for silly reasons. I cannot support any one of them. I am the only son to my mother and my father is no more. According to our custom I cannot put my mother anywhere else. I love both of them. As such how will I solve this problem. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2008): Great answer Tisha!! You have said it all. Do they argue, or is this an actual fisticuffs fight? It must be awful for you, you cannot take either side, just let them know that you remain neutral and you are staying out of it until they grow up and act like adults. But have that chat that Tisha suggests. What do you have to lose?
take care
xx
A
female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (4 June 2008):
 Fantastic answer Tish.
They really do need to sit and talk with you, surely there is some way that the peace can be kept. Its very unfair on you being in the middle all the time.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (4 June 2008):
 Sit them both down, and give them a little speech.
"Mother, Wife, I need to ask you for some help on something that has been troubling me. Mother, I love and honor and respect you very much. Wife, I love and honor and respect you very much. You two are my family, and I do not want to see the people that I love arguing so much.
"It hurts me very deeply to see you cause each other distress, and I feel that I am caught in the middle of it. I cannot be disrespectful to either one of you, and I ask you not to be disrespectful to me, by creating an atmosphere of anger and squabbling in what could be a happy household. It makes me very sad and unhappy.
"I know that we are all adults, and as such we should be able to talk things through and reach solutions together, and I sincerely and respectfully ask that you two take some time to think about what is troubling each of you. Then meet with each other in a calm fashion and discuss the things that are really bothersome. I ask that you do this in a calm and supportive manner, out of respect for our family life.
"There are always conflicts in life, and that isn't going to change. But we can change the way that we've been dealing with them, and it would make me happy to think that you would be willing to try a new approach to the disagreements between you.
"Mother, Wife, you are my world and my family and I wish for you nothing but happiness. Please work with me on this matter and we can live in more harmony together, without letting anger and resentment build up.
"Thank you for listening. Now let's take some time to reflect on what I just said, and then we can meet again to discuss things in a calm, adult, rational manner."
Good luck, and let us know how things turn out.
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A
female
reader, Star_07 +, writes (4 June 2008):
 You could tell them that they need to set boundaries. What are they fighting about? What may be silly to you might not be silly to them...
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