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My virgin boyfriend is bigger than I'm accustomed to

Tagged as: Sex, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 May 2015) 2 Answers - (Newest, 8 May 2015)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Me and my boyfriend are having some problems with sex....he's a virgin, i'm his first girlfriend and everything and i'm not a virgin. There are no problems with this.

It's just everytime we've tried having sex it's not worked....he's bigger than i'm used to (width and length) but also has quite a curve to it and because of this we are struggling a lot with the angle and him getting it inside me....

And because of this he's feeling bad and worried and because he's worrying about it he can't relax properly whenever we do try and it puts him off...can anyone please give any us advice? Many thanks :)

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A male reader, Dean21 United States +, writes (8 May 2015):

Dean21 agony auntWell alright I'm gonna sqy this as modestly as I can. When I had sex for am the second time I was with a virgin who was only 5'2 I am a larger then average guy and am 6'3 so there was a huge difference in size. She was ridiculously small and there were times when we would have sex but it was way too pain full for both of us, nothing lube would fix. So we did stretch sessions where I would stay inside of her for as long as as I could nearly every night untill we fell asleep, kinda romantic as well lol, anyways that would over time loosen her up just enough for us to enjoy sex without hurting each other. I hope that helps.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2015):

Awww :)

this is almost a sweet question. Coz there is nothing wrong here. Just nerves.

And you can't really "make" people relax either. How about if you tell him that sometimes it is normal for men to have these issues? It actually is as well (I have experienced it a couple of times...on "first" times. Not virgins but somehow the "first" time with a new partner has never gone smoothly for me. Every time after that,i.e. once they've relaxed and things are a bit more settled in the relationship- it has gone much, much better).

I think your options are:

a) Tell him it's all ok and hope he believes you + lots and lots of lube (for the "curve")+ patience (as,in my experience, it doesn't stay "hard" for some guys for the first couple of times too...)

b) talk about something completely unrelated and hope he relaxes,i.e. maybe if you don't treat it as such a big deal he won't either?

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