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My teacher tried to kiss me and I walked away....what should I do??

Tagged as: Big Questions, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 January 2008) 25 Answers - (Newest, 31 March 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Omg! What do i do??

Im really worried. I really like this teacher at my school and he shouted at me for no reason then told me just to wait behind after the bell, which i did.

So i waited and waited around after the bell then he came out and shouted at me in-front of my friends and told me to go to his staffroom with him which i did

He then closed the door and laughed and if i fell for that, as if he would shout at you... now finally we can have a moment alone...and i was like er... okay? Then he asked my night was last night (he knew i was at a party) and i replied good, then he said asked who got lucky with me and i was shocked and said no one.

He said good and then walked towards me and went to kiss me!! I stepped back and just starred at him, he asked if i was playing hard to get then stepped forward and i pushed him away and asked what he was doing and walked out.

Then my teacher was absent so he covered my class. He kept lookin at me so i jst walked out because i felt werid, i like this guy so much but i would never do anythin with him as he's my teacher, he's got too much to loose so i have kinda lost all my respect for him.

He then came out after me and was screamin his head off at me and demanding that i went to him; i did and i started to cry and he tried to hug me and then he said sorry. I said i am confused right now and told him I liked him. He said he knew; I said but your my teacher and i couldnt possibly; he said why not? Don't tell me you dont want it?

I walked away and came home and pretended to my parents that i was ill, what do i do? I couldn't have lead this guy on i'm just friendly to him. I'm worried saw what happened. What do i do? I don't want to complain because i feel this is my fault and I should be punished instead of him please help :(

x

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A female reader, 98shanny98 United Kingdom +, writes (31 March 2011):

98shanny98 agony auntHi,

Okay you should not feel like it is your fault, you are the victim here, and as a pupil myself i would report it straight away. If that happened to me i would feel disgusted at his appalling behaviour. He's a teacher, he ought to be setting a good example and teaching students, not perving and abusing them. It was good for you to push him away. And don't show him your fear, he will know that he is scaring you and will be pleased, don't give him the satisfaction of knowing that. Keep your head high, your boundaries strong and tell someone that he is bothering you so you can be moved out of his class. Tell your parents, teachers, friends even your pets! Everyone should be warned about him. It is not your fault, you are practically doing a public service, by ridding the school of his perviness.

Hope you do the right thing

Keep smiling!

Bye!

From Shannon (98shanny98)

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A female reader, GlamourGirl 77 Wallis and Futuna +, writes (11 August 2009):

either snog the guy or get him fired, I'd go with option 2 though, what this guy is doing is perverted, retarded and wrong with a capital W. don't be afraid to teach the teacher, show him who's boss. if you do get into a relationship with him, make it private and on your terms and tell him he has to give you A's or no doing tounges.

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A female reader, LaydeeOfSorrows Australia +, writes (23 November 2008):

LaydeeOfSorrows agony auntWhat he did was wrong, and not your fault in the least!

If i was in that position I know I would have gone for it.....Which would prob be a mistake, but I wouldnt be able to help myself teehhee.

If he tries it again, and you feel uncomfotable, report it.

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A female reader, the silent advisor  United Kingdom +, writes (21 November 2008):

Hey hun,

Don't let this pedo take advantage of you. from the way he is acting you can tell that he is only in it for some sort of sexual pleasure. I know that it is so hard and embarrassing to tell someone else, especially an adult, but the sooner the better because he is a grown man and you have no idea of what he is capable of. your best bet is to threaten him, dont let him bully you, tell him that you are going to tell someone. try and stay with friends and not alone around him.

but please please please tell someone, no matter how hard it is, it's so much better than leaving things to get worse!

if you neeed anymore advice contact me :)

best of luck hun, sick perverts like that should not be allowed around kids!

and dont feel that any of this is your fault because you are 1000000000000 times better than him and completely innocent

xxxxxx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2008):

this has happened to me to i have been in the same position my teacher used to yell at me in front of my friends and give me detentions os i was sick of it i asked himwhy then he locked the door and said that over the months of covering my detentions ed developedfeelings for me he told me to go over to hes house and i just immediately shouted at him get away from me you perve and i told the headteacher straight away i feltit was my fault to but i never got into trouble i only liked him i didnt lead him on in any way at all

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2008):

i say, dont tell anyone and keep him begging and hanging on for more

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2008):

this guy is a f#%*ing looney. Stay the hell away from him. He doesn't love you, he just wants to sleep with you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2008):

no it was his falut, he is a teacher. That is just wrong if a teacher did that. he should of known better, he is older then you much older than you, and he should know better. dont beat yourself over this it is his fault!!!

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States +, writes (14 February 2008):

TasteofIndia agony auntGood for you! Happy Valentine's Day to that JERKFACE for sure!! I hope he gets what he deserves (to be fired), and I hope you feel good about yourself. Be proud, girlfriend, you just saved all the girls in your school from getting sexually harassed by this man. GOOD FOR YOU!

Proud of you, sweetness!

xx India

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Well everything is gonna be fine i hope, i complained on him and they are taking me out of his class and they are gonna bring in anothe teacher to teach me for the moment so they can get to the bottom of this, i had to give times and dates and stuff its was really hard as i didnt knwo the times? but i managed to give them all the details then i seen the headteacher takin him aside today when i was walkin past his department and it looked very serious!

Well i guess this is happy valentines day to you SIR!

i hope he know gets fired!

thanks to everyone

x

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A female reader, Devilish Angel United States +, writes (13 February 2008):

Devilish Angel agony auntTell another teacher or better yet, the principal or the cops or both. He's harassing you.

Do it now before it gets worse.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (12 February 2008):

eyeswideopen agony auntIf all this is true AND you are so terribly upset...how come you didn't file a complaint against this teacher like you stated you were going to do in your previous response?

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States +, writes (10 February 2008):

TasteofIndia agony auntMy, my, sweetness. Your teacher is a major creep and now he's trying to cover his track. Don't let him threaten you to keep your mouth shut. Now you REALLY should take action and go to the principal and let him or her know what's going on. Don't worry about your grades - they won't (or shouldn't) be affected at ALL by you outing this teacher for the creep that he is.

I feel awful for you. You shouldn't have to shoulder all of this. If you can't bring yourself to go to your principal, tell a friend and enlist her help and moral support while you tell someone. Or show your parents your letter to us at Dear Cupid and the follow ups you have posted.

Please do something (and soon!) and keep us updated. We Aunts really care about you, sweetness and want to see this creep-o teacher dealt with.

xx India

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Hello everyone, erm.. well I havent been in due to my exams so.. I've only seen him once and when I did see him that in time however he shouted my name and I pretended not to hear it then he shouted it again and I turned around and told him to back off then he said "cheek" to a teacher I see, then I was like what?? cheek? you've got some cheek, then he said that he only kissed me because his wife was giving him grief the night before. I just stared at the floor while he said this and then he said so there's no need to feel all special, I mean you're a school girl, you're far too young for me and I love my wife so no one will be telling anyone about what happened, okay? Then I walked away then he grabbed my hand and said "your place in my class is on the line, just you remember that." Please help me :'( I'm actually crying right now, I don't know what do, I can't bear school anymore, I want to leave it but I want my grades but I'm scared. :(

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A female reader, Lady Aunt United Kingdom +, writes (27 January 2008):

Do absolutly nothing and if he calls you back to his office again then ask him what the hell he's playing at, he could loose his job, you could be expelled and you'd never be able to see each other again.

But... Don't take others advice, just consider it do what you want to do.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

no someone is not playing out a schooll girls fantasy, so i take it you dont believe me then?

Your right its not like i have a life of sum sort, its not like i have no mates and its nt like i have nothin to do with my spare time, so yeah i think u are spot on, i get kicks from writtin up fake stories bout my maths teacher tryin it on with me, grow up. Y on earth would i make sumthin up like this. you have no idea how confussed and hurt ive bn ive stayed off skl today coz i cant face goin in to see him, i have exams cumin up soon so i probs missed alot of exam preparation! so dont tell me that i am pretening this okay, it was scary for me and jst plain werid so there you go!

thanks to everyone who also replied to my quesion, im goin into skl tomorrow and i iam goin to make a complaint thankyou

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (24 January 2008):

eyeswideopen agony auntHumm, I think someone is just playing out a schoolgirl's fantasy here, the story sounds vaguely familiar. If this really did happen you won't have to deal him much longer because he's doing his best to sabotage a teaching career.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2008):

Regardless of how friendly you might have been to him, there is no excuse for his behaviour towards you - if what you have reported is accurate, he is attempting to begin an abusive relationship with you. Not only is that inappropriate/immoral, it's highly illegal.

He may well have tried this with others before. He will certainly try again with you or with others. Keep away from him. If you can, PLEASE speak to a senior member of staff about it so you and others can be protected and do so sooner rather than later. This is VERY important.

Any teaching professional will listen to you carefully and take what you say very seriously. (Your school should have a "Child Protection Officer" or a "Pastoral Head". These people will have the right experience and are the people to speak to.)

In no way are you to blame. Best of luck!

PS I am a senior teacher myself and trained to deal with incidents like this. They usually work out ok IF they are dealt with quickly.

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States +, writes (24 January 2008):

TasteofIndia agony auntHey sweetness,

First off this isn't your fault. Teacher's have to deal with girls getting crushes on them - tons of girls crush on teachers (look through the questions here on Cupid everyday. There are ALWAYS people who have crushes on their teachers). However, he being the older one in the position of authority - he should know better.

He is taking advantage of you and if you want to do whats best you should talk to your guidance counselor, another teacher, your principal or your parents. He needs to get fired for what he's doing - who knows if he's done this to other girls?

This isn't your fault, it's the fault of a creepy teacher who deserves to be punished for his actions. Feel PROUD about what you're doing, girlfriend. You are saving another girl from this same situation, and you might be saving yourself from this going much, much further and getting much, much worse.

Good luck, sweetness!!

xx India

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A female reader, Devilish Angel United States +, writes (24 January 2008):

Devilish Angel agony auntThis is so not your fault. Yes, you have a crush on your teacher. Everyone has at some point in their life. However, he made the inappropriate advances first. He's at fault. Treat him like any other male. Tell him to back off. If he does, get transferred out of his class to another and if you see him around, just ignore him. If he won't stop coming onto you, then tell the principal. You already have enough stuff to deal with. You don't need a perverted teacher. Yes, you like him but you would never have acted on your feelings until he started it.

Don't put up with this and be scared to go to school. Don't be afraid of any man.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2008):

Talk to another teacher, the head of your school would be best, tell him what happend, Teacher/student relationships dont last.

and i know cause a teacher did it to me, so get out of there and away from him.

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A female reader, guylovesme United States +, writes (24 January 2008):

guylovesme agony auntIt doesn't sound like he cares for you. It sounds like he's just taking advantage of you. I would tell another teacher becuase he sounds agressive and scary. I hope you resolve this I really recomend asking for help

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2008):

The teacher is using his maturity to take advantage of you. Tell your headmaster/mistress immediately.

Good Luck

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A male reader, Anon. 01 United Kingdom +, writes (24 January 2008):

talk to your parents asap if you can, and also you really do need to talk to another teacher about this in private and tell them everything.

this is a serious issue, it is not your fault, he is an adult and what he is doing is wrong and he is old enough to know this. he has already started to mess with your head and manipulate you, this should be stopped now as it shall only get worse.

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (24 January 2008):

Laura1318 agony auntYou need to speak to another teacher about what is happening to you.They will handle this problem for you . What he is doing is not right and he could be in serious trouble.

He is taking advantage of you. Do not allow him to touch you or abuse you.

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