A
female
age
13-15,
anonymous
writes:*Im really sorry this is long, it is an update*oh my god someone has got to help me. i think my teacher is a pervert. i know this sounds really weird and paranoid but i dont know what to do. my sister was sexually abused several times by my familys gp and ever since then i have been extremely sensitive about how men talk to me and over react in many cases. this is why i am not sure whether or not it is really happening or whether its all in my head.the reason i think he might be is becasue of these reasons, some are details thats might be stupid, others are more serious.1 he knew my name when i never had him before. Yet he spoke to me as if he knew me.2 my friend hurt his finger as a joke i asked if hed like me to kiss it better. sir overheard and said "were u being suggestive there *myname*?"i said "no sir" then he said "were you being naughty?" and looked me up and down the was he said it...3 i needed help (ICT) he put his hand on top of mine when i was holding the mouse to try and control my mouse.4 generally the way he speaks and looks at me and the way he used me for every single example in the class.5) i recently found out that he has been suspended once before a while back for texting a pupil things like "when can we meet up?" this has freaked me out even more because i didnt know he had a past of this stuff.6) this isnt AS reliable but i also found out he cheated on his wife with a teacher that used to work at our school, so it firstly proves he is dis-honest and it also proves that we cant use the "but he has a wife" excuse becasue he clearly doesnt care about that.Also there is something else.. which is harder to admit, I think i might be attracted to him. I know what I have to do. but I really don't want to. somewhere I'm still hoping he is a decent guy. It would be easier that way.Don't worry people I would never make any sort of move on him, even though it'll be difficult to report him. I'm not stupid, I know where I am at. Im just so confused. Its so screwed up. I need someone's help
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2007): For a point by point answer,
1. Same thing happened to me. He probably just saw you around or overheard your name from someone else. He would remember if he knew he was going to have to get to know you later, or if he just thought you were pretty. Men are men. It's no different than you remembering the name of a hot neighbor guy who mows his lawn without a shirt on, but forgetting the name of his sister.
2. Yeah, kind of weird. He probably regretted that after saying it. As for him scoping you out, he probably was trying to judge your reaction through body language since you weren't saying anything--which was an understandable reaction.
3. Eh. If it was lingering, you might have something to go on, but different people have different personal space limits. This one could go either way.
4. He favors you. Would you think it was weird if a female teacher favorited you? Try to avoid double standards.
5 and 6. Rumors. Don't listen.
You probably like him because you think he likes you. On some level, everyone likes being liked. Also, decent guys often get brought down with stereotypes. Wait until something more substantial happens if you really want to report him. They can't fire him for looking at you or helping you with ITC.
A
female
reader, TELLULAH  + ♥, writes (9 November 2007):
 Hi,
I hate to say this but I am not sure who is more dangerous him or you.
He could be making improper remarks, but then you admit that you have a crush on him.
So what if he had an affair it happens all the time. Its wrong but it happens, unfortunatly.
The point is he is your teacher, and he has a duty as an adult to behave with the utmost Integrity. And if you really feel he is hitting on you, then you should tell another teacher, end of story.
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A
female
reader, Awi +, writes (7 November 2007):
I really don't think he's a pervert. Thats how teachers generally act. He's just being a general teacher.
1.He knew your name because your a pupil in his school and its a teachers job to know that stuff before he takes his classes.And he would have been told about you before you joined his class.
2. He would have been taking the piss. (i dunno if im alloud to say that on here)
3. He was just helping you control your mouse, my teachers do that to me.
4. You may be over exadurating
5. Rumers?
6. Everyone cheats sometimes:)
And you say you like him. Well if he does like you it's not so bad then:) Just make sure nothing could ever happen. It is not worth reporting. Don't get him in trouble unless you have a bigger case. It would embarrass him and it may not be deserved:)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2007): I do not know but in my opinion you do not have anything to report. He looked at you, or he put his hand on your mouse when you asked for help? It does not sound like he did anything improper. Maybe, he did give you a look but he will not be fired for looking at you.
It sounds to me like you are reading way too much into this. Now if he says something sexual, or touches you... Then that is another story. If he makes you feel uncomfortable you should just keep your distance from him.
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A
female
reader, aphrodite  +, writes (7 November 2007):
 I understand how you feel. The best thing to do is to talk to your principal or school counselor about this. You may not be the only one that he is "hitting on", and if he is removed, it could greatly relieve other people.
You will have the strength to do it when the time comes, don't worry about that. : )
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A
male
reader, rcn + ♥, writes (7 November 2007):
 You need strength. He needs reported. If you don't have strength, find a friend or someone you trust that can go with you to report it. That's the best thing to do.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2007): Hi Hun,
I think I answered your last question, You really must go to someone and tell them all this, It obviously canot go on any longer.
Would you have taking a liking to him if he had not constantly made it obvious he was flirting with you and liked you, The answer to that is I feel is no I may be wrong but can you see how this man can work his charm and get what he wants in the end with some student/ young girl vunerable as yourself because you think your gut instinct is wrong because you put it down to what happened with your sister. What happened to your sister has allerted you to the dangers of certain situations and your clued up enough to no this is very wrong of him.
Talk to a teacher you trust, Talk to your parents get this sorted and tell everthing you have said here ok hunny, if you need to chat as you seem at a point where your very worried hun message me you take care now LOTS OF LOVE MANDY xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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