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My teacher is 2 different people around me! When we are alone he is great, but in front of others he makes me the butt of jokes!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 November 2010) 14 Answers - (Newest, 17 November 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

hey guys.

so i'm in a really confusing situation, my teacher is 43 i think hes married because at the begining of last year he wore a wedding ring but now doesn't, and i'm well 16.

and the problem is things are tense and i dont know why, and i cant get rid of it everything i do angers him and eveything he does angers me. the worst part of it is hes so two faced when hes around students or teachers he calls me names and makes the the butt of jokes all the time upseting me, but when were alone hes nice, helpful and flirty i just dont know what to do i want to talk to him about it but i know he'll never admitt it as his ego is too big .

thanks

View related questions: flirt, my teacher, wedding

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A female reader, fishdish United States +, writes (17 November 2012):

fishdish agony auntyour staying away from him (and vice versa) sounds like it's for the best! Glad you aren't as wrapped up in his every move anymore, and try not to let him stop you from doing things you want to do. When I would see him I would keep it to a hello.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

So hey, long time no update and well it's been a year and a half that I haven't seen him. Even once I was out I his class this were much the same one last day he kissed me one the head and hugged me after I told him I liked him looking back now that's pretty sick considering I was a vunrable 16 year old girl you'd think he'd be like right okay leave not hug and kiss me on the forhead and tell me he cares about me! Crazy right ?! Anyway I've seen him a few times recently and he stills acts the same towards me and he talks to my friends about me behind my back. Asks how I am then says things like I'm strange and weird because he saw me on a run. wth I know?! I was also going meant to go to a football match to give my friend a present who I hardly see for their 18th and he was going to be there my friend mentions me and he says oh dear keep that girl away from me. Like don't know what his problem is but I'm 18 now and see things differently and would love to tell him what he did was WRONG and he needs to seriously think before doing it to some other girl I was so young and messed about and left heartbroken the absolute nasty man!

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A female reader, tennisstar88 United States +, writes (3 February 2011):

tennisstar88 agony auntRegardless, the positive point here is that you have moved on from having a crush on teacher and found someone new to like. Hopefully, some one more your age. Kudos to you sweetie!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

just to keep you all updated i've been taken out of all his lessons since i posted this it all went down hill i met someone and became less intrested in the teacher so he began being aggressive and he i guess couldn't take me giving it back . . . .

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A female reader, fishdish United States +, writes (6 December 2010):

fishdish agony aunti do not know why this man delights in messing with your head, i hate him just hearing about him, but stick to the back of the classroom, study hard so he has no reason to dock you points, and if he DOES give you a grade you dont deserve, take it up with the chairman of the department, dean, or colleague of his that teaches the same class. if you take it to a teacher, and not a superior, you could act like you just don't understand the information or what you did wrong, and if they see that you haven't that may get them to talk to this guy.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2010):

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Yeaah I will then we have teachers for a full year in the uk. But I've had some new developments on the situation he's told me he only goes easy on me and is only nice to me because he feels sorry for me because I've got "issues" that I tell him about even though I never actully said anything to the man god where does he get all this from .

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A female reader, tennisstar88 United States +, writes (5 December 2010):

tennisstar88 agony auntSplits the school year in half..You have the fall half from Aug-Dec, then you have the Spring half Jan-May. We call it semesters in America.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2010):

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ermm i dont think so but then again whats a semester sorry im from the uk :/

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A female reader, fishdish United States +, writes (3 December 2010):

fishdish agony auntwill you have him next semester too?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thanks to everyone.

i live in the uk so technically its kind of legal

and fishdish i have spoke to my friends about it as i've been upset and cried over it and they all say tht is something wrong with the way he treats me and he does go on like he fancies me, just the other day i spoke to him about him acting like he hates me and he said he doesn't know where i get my crap from and i'm stupid if i don't know how he feels by now, but then gain what's that meant to mean because since he said that he dodges me.

and to bernard i've been trying for 2years and nothing was done about it and now i can't due to exams.

thanks again guys

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A male reader, soon567 United States +, writes (25 November 2010):

Simple, he’s crushing on you and you need to be stern that you want no part of it. Don’t respond and you’ll send a silent message to him.

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A female reader, fishdish United States +, writes (25 November 2010):

fishdish agony auntfirst, think about it, get your friends' opinions, try to make sure that you're not being overly sensitive due to your close relationship with him. it does sound like he could be trying to cover his tracks for his at the very least, a close friendship with you. i would try to dissociate from him, even outside of the classroom when he's nice, because i think from these interactions he feels he's been given some kind of license to be on an unprofessional level either way you look at it (him making you the butt of jokes OR maybe being flirty), and if you just limit interaction he's going to either get the hint or have no ammo against you to make jokes. I've been in a similar position before with a teacher that would be very hot and cold with me, telling me I had no friends, to the next day telling me i'm so smart that I should go into that field to study it, etc. Another thing you could do if he does make some joke in front of another teacher again, try to call him out on it, and just straight up be like, "that hurt my feelings" or "that was uncalled for" or get the other teacher involved, by saying something like "do you see how he talks to me? is that how you treat YOUR students?" but just consider that it's a two way street, so you can't joke on him either, if you do, if that's what you don't want anymore

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A female reader, j.c.d.l United Kingdom +, writes (25 November 2010):

Maby he likes you but he knows its wrong so he acts up around other people. I would say don't talk to him, try and ignore it, he'll probly just deny it because he could loose his job over this.

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A female reader, Sarah_Beara United States +, writes (25 November 2010):

Sarah_Beara agony auntHe might not want people to suspect you're together, since you're 16 and he's your teacher. That's sorta looked down upon.

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