| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: If anyone can help me with this problem, then advice is appreciated!I came back home from work one day to find my #16-year-old son sitting in the garden wearing his 19-year-old sister's white bikini (it was a hot day). His sister was at university that dayI asked him why he did it, and he said bikinis are more comfortable than swim shorts and he wants to wear them in public from now on. He said he's not a cross-dresser, so it rules that reason out.What problems has he got? Are his hormones going screwy?? Help me please!Suzannex
View related questions:
university Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2008): i dont think there is anything wrong with what he is doing it is probably just a phase! i occasionally wear womens underwear but i personally dont think there is anything wrong with it as long as he feels comfortable!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2008): Am a 21 yr old woman and recently have encountered the same thing in regards to my 16 yr old brother wearing my underwear and bras etc and although i caught him wearing a set of my undewear i still love him for who he is and i do go underwear shopping with him to buy some for him so he can have his own underwear and bras etc so in regards to this except that clothes are clothes no matter what sex their meant for as someone mentioned if us girls wore mens clothes there wouldnt be a thing mentioned but cause its a boy wearing girls underwear it classified as being gay or strange etc at the end of the day clothes shouldnt have a impact on a person cause we live in a society where people can dress and act anyway they want
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2008): get him his own bikinis not girls . mens bikinis so that they 'fit' right menny web sits have mens bikinis that are cut like girls swim suit but made for men . im 19 now but have been wearing bikini swim wear for 4 years i would say more power to him to have the self covidence to wear them in public .. its just a swim suit its not the end of the world
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2008): i too like to wear bikinis.i wear them to a park to lay out in.i undo the top so there is no lines on my back or chest.sometimes i just wear the bottoms but it does cover all of my privates.i'm not gay but it is sensual.
...............................
A
male
reader, lainee  +, writes (1 April 2008):
Assure your son that you still love him. Let him know that the only thing you see wrong with your son wearing his sister's bikini is if he stretches it where it does not fit her correctly any more. I suggest taking him shopping and let him get his own bikini. While shopping, you may ask him if he would like to purchase some panties and bras also. Let him know that it is okay for him to wear them as long as he wears outer clothes over them. If we wants a dress to wear over them then let him get one. After all women wear men's boxers, men's jeans and shirts and nobody thinks anything negative. So why the tabboo for boys wearing girl's clothing. In a time of equality where is the equality. Lainee'
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2008): My 16 year old daughter has complained over the past few months that she can't find any of her underwear. As we were getting ready for a trip, she moved my sons pillow out of the way, and there, in a pile, under my 14 year old son's pillow, was her underwear. Some of them even had unused sanitary napkins on them. I spoke with my son in confidence about the situation, and when I asked him why he had been wearing her underwear, he said "it's more comfortable". When asked why he put sanitary napkins on some of them, he said he was "bored".He also said that he only wears them at home, because he was afraid if he wore them to school, he would be made fun of. When he was a toddler, he did like putting on my high heels and walking around in them. He also asked his older sisters to dress him up in their dresses for fun.Thank God I kept my cool when asking about the underwear the other day. I assured him he wasn't in trouble, but that I just wanted to know why he was doing this.Can somebody please help me understand what this means. Should I go buy some mens underwear for him that is cut more like womens? Do you think I should have him see a psychiatrist? I don't want someone to make him feel "dirty or unacceptable". I just want to do what is the best for him. If any of you reading this has had these same experiences, please help me figure out what I should do.Thank you so much.Cindy
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2008): Hey Suzanne, if you'll still reading and keeping up with these replies. I have a little advice. I am a 16-year-old Junior in high school. I have a feeling I know a little about what hes going through. See, I'm also a "panty-wearing". And the reasoning for me wearing if comfort, style, and feeling sexy. Now, I'm betting your son is probably wearing these for one of those reasons, however don't act like your ashamed or you think hes just messing with you for attention, that will just distance your relationship and your son will lose the communication he needs most. I would recommend for you to go and just talk, ask him if he wants to go shopping and gets some of his own, because stealing is never right. Approach with caution and ease him into. Try to make a connection like if you wear bikinis relate and how you like them. Try to make him feel as comfortable as possible. And if your wondering if the bikini can hurt his "area", you should be a little concerned. See wearing non-cotton on men can cause rashes and the bikini itself can sterilize him if he wears it enough. Your biggest concern should be his health, maybe suggest man thongs? I have a couple of Calvin Klein thongs and they are great oh my god! Anyways, hope it helped.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2008): I don't think it really means anything. I am a guy and I always liked wearing bikini underwear. It is more comfortable. As I grew older I started wearing men's thongs and low rise underwear. Recently I started wearing girls bikini underwear. (It really is more comfortable than men's underwear if you can ge the correct size.) I am completely straight. My girlfriend loves my undie collection - bikinis, thongs, and girls undies. I also wear speedo bikini bathing suits and she loves this. I think it is actually a turn on for her because I am confident in my underwear choice and don't feel the need to wear boxers because it is the "cool thing." If your son wants to wear girls bikinis then I would support him, but I would get him his own; wearing his sister's undies is a bit weird. If he is embarrassed about buy them, he can order them online (at American Eagle). Too, he may be just going through a phase. Hope this helped.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2008): I wrote an answer to your question a little while ago and i'm fifteen about to turn sixteen so I know what he's going through
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2008): Just becouse he's wearing a bikini dosn't mean anything is wrong and from experiance I can agree that underwear for men is not as comfterble as underwear for women. Plus mens underwear tends to strech out and won't hold you, that along with very rough fabric dosn't make for comfort anytime. You don't have to worry about it being sexuall becouse he is tallking to about it. It would be a good idea to set him down and talk about it and if he still wants to wear bikini underwear let him just don't judge him about it or he might hurt very badly emotionally. If he still wants to wear bikinis Jockey makes a very comfterble one that is made from a very soft quality fabric that holds you and provids comfort all day, you should be able to get them at walmart in mens underwear the package will say LIFE. Since it's just about comfort there is nothing wrong about him wearing womens bikinis because one they have a wider range of fabrics, cuts and colors but it also keep him from wearing his sisters. If you do this and he wants to wear bikini underwear you should let him it won't make him any differant I know because I went through the samething and my mother did the same thing /
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2008): Wearing girls panties and bikinis really turn me on. Especially if I know some other girl has wore them once before. I am 33 years old and still wear them every once in a while. I wonder what a girl would think if she saw me at the beach wearing a girls bikini. I am in good shape not over weight and have muscle tone oh and not real harry either.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2007): well i am 14 i know he is going through a curious stage
its kind of normal
although you might want to ask him about his sexuality
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2007): just take him to the store and pick out a bikini for him that he will like, i have done this and found that womens bikini underwear are a lot more comfortable than briefs or boxers. Also he may eventually grow out of it.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2007): get him some boys bikini underware or a speedo
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2005): He still insists that wearing a bikini is more comfortable than swim shorts, and wants to wear them in public from now on.
What do I do?
Suzanne
x
...............................
A
reader, schlottjl +, writes (24 August 2005):
 Maybe you could try this line of reasoning for yourself first and him second.
He might be on to something. If he has discomfort wearing regular trunks, then there are alternatives out there. However, it is disrespectful for him to wear any clothes that are not his.
Also, I don't care what he says, wearing women’s clothing, including bathing attire, is the definition of cross dressing. From what I know of this topic, cross dressers usually are not gay. But they will be treated as such.
Also, consider he might be embarrassed and was just fooling around when caught. He may have been trying to save face (act as if it is not a big deal.) If this is the case, tell him that he is not permitted to wear the clothing of others unless he has permission from the owner. Tell him that you would say the same thing to your daughter if she raided his closet. Women do have private issues where under garments are concerned and her privacy is important.
Then after that, drop it. He may be testing to see if he can get your goat. If you give undue attention to this he may resort to similar behaviors when he wants attention. Give attention often and liberally for good behavior and sometimes just because.
I found a young male family member his age once in a dress and makeup. My reaction was as I advised and told him that it was unsafe for amateurs to combine lipstick and silk. If he wanted new clothes and cosmetics just ask otherwise he should respect other peoples property.
Not only did he turn out normal, he is not gay, a cross dresser, nor unusual in any way. He is very outgoing, funny, and the life of a party. He is also one of my favorite guys since my cool behavior was relieving to him and our trust grew significantly since then.
If you already freaked out, it is okay. Just go apologize and say you were shocked.
Good luck! So long as you love the kids and right your wrongs, he will be fine. Such is life. We don't determine who they are but with acceptance and understanding, we can ensure the best relationship with who they become.
...............................
|
