A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:my sister is 19 and she left home without telling anyone. i was the last person to see her before she left and she didn't even say goodbye. i used to pick her up from work and on that particular day when i went to pick her up she just didn't show. i tried to ask her workmates but it seems they just covered up for her and didn't tell us where she might have gone. none of our family know where she is or where she could have gone, or even who with, for all we know she could be in another country by now. this happened 3 months ago and since then my family has broken apart. this has brought me and my other siblings and my dad closer together but our mom has just pushed us all away. the worst thing is that my parents did not want to let anyone know that she ran away, because it was obvious she went by her own choice as all her stuff was gone. now they are going on lying to other family and friends about where she is e.g. they just make excuses when we go to a family event and say she's ill because they are ashamed of what she's done. and when we laugh my mom tells us that we shouldn't be laughing when my sister is missing. im starting to hate my mom for the way she is behaving to my two younger siblings.one day people r going to find out and i don't know what excuse they will make up then. i've tried to do everything to find out where she could be, but non of her friends know and im running out of ideas on how to find her, and also how my family r going to get over this. if or when we find where she is i don't think any of us will be able to forgive her for what she's put us through. my siblings already say they don't want her to come back because things will never be the same. please help on how i can start to sort this Reply to this Question
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male
reader, maverick  +, writes (7 May 2007):
 Hello. My name is Munna and I wanted to let you know that I have been through the same thing although this happened to me 3 times since 12-14 with my 3 big sisters.
In my situation, my mother did not get on with my 3 big step-sisters. One by one they left home - each without warning. I don't blame them - my mum was (and still is) vicious. At the time I didn't understand why. I felt really guilty as I didn't understand what was going on.
My was really angry and paranoid - she would let me go play football with my mates until I was 15. Even then I curfews that would make a probation officer panic.
It wasn't until I was 16 that I realised it didn't matter anymore. My sisters had gone - they had made that choice themselves, and as much as missed them I knew that they were doing this for themselves. If you think that's selfish - your probably right, but then if you going to take a risk, who else are you gonna take that risk for? I realised that my mother was f***ed up. Not just from the ordeal but generally the way she was. She kept telling our neighbours and relations that they had gone to live somehwere else or working abroad or studying in far off Universities. Dad manged to get by (apart from the nights he would cry in the study). And thankfully my little brother and sister were too young to remember any of it.
This is one the worst ways anyone could have grow up thorugh. But in time, I manged to let go. I realised my sisters' choices and my mothers behaviour don't have much to do with me. It's painful when you 13/14 but it will pass.
I was 17 and in college when some guy came upto me and said "Hey you're Munna right? You're Shirin's borther?"... Very bizarrely he knew who I was and gave me my big sis's number... after about 5 years I met her again... and eventually all my other sisters.
They had done fine. My big sis was a school teacher in London, my other sis was a graphic designer up north and my other sis was working as a secretary... I think.
Well overall the important thing to remember is that you can't always sort everything out. You have to let it go. Even if everyone else is losing their head around - you will have to keep yours.
If you do feel the need to pursue this, you can approach the following websites for help and also contact you police department and local newspaper. Of course this will blow your mothers cover story to everyone and may create a falling out but it is upto you how proceed.
http://www.amw.com/missing_persons/
http://www.usamissing.com/
Please look after yourself. Please message again soon and let us know what is going on.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (7 May 2007):
 Well for starters she is 19 so she is totally legal to be on her own. Since she hasn't had the common courtesy to at least call and tell you that she's okay I certainly don't blame your family for being angry as well as worried about her. Let your mom handle it in her own way, it must be very hard on her not knowing how her daughter is so try not to make it even more difficult on her. I'm sorry this has happened to your family and I hope you hear from her soon.
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