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My sister gave me oral

Tagged as: Family, Forbidden love, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 May 2008) 16 Answers - (Newest, 6 August 2008)
A age 36-40, * writes:

I woke up the other night to my own sister giving me a blow job! I thought I was dreaming it. I woke up I asked her to stop, but she said you must like it as I was ready to complete.

She had been drinking I think.

She is 5 years older than me. IT really freaked me out, but my sister has always freaked me out.

Any advice?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2008):

That is incest and so damn nasty.Please tell your parents or somebody.Just because she's your sister doesn't mean you should feel guilty.That was wrong and sick.How can you

even look at her?That's a shame.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2008):

It was unacceptable! Why did you not stop that? Don't tell me you couldn't! You were involve in that too and now you feel guilty. Things like that can ruin lifes of both of you! I don't know are you religious or not, catholic or maybe orthodox christian. Have you heard about confession? Go to see the priest if you are christian and confess about this. If you are scared to do that in your city use first oportunity to do that somewhere else. Be honest, tell EVERYTHING and you will feel better. Then, speak with your sister and take a very firm attitude. Tell her you will forgive and forget if it doesn't happen ever again and then do forgive and forget.

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A female reader, beauty344 United States +, writes (6 August 2008):

beauty344 agony auntThats just fucking crazy how can you even look her in the eyes .....

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2008):

Dude, Thats really fucked up.....

I feel sorry for you, as well your strange.

You should move out, or at least move on....

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A female reader, LaydeeOfSorrows Australia +, writes (3 August 2008):

LaydeeOfSorrows agony auntWow..

Confront her about it first, and if you feel you want to take it further, get the police involved.

What she did was wrong.

Good luck, and please update.

xx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2008):

The Times of London published an article written by a woman with a headline that said she had sex with her brother, and doesn't feel guilty about it. The article appeared July 15. The woman described a loving, sexual relationship with her older brother, who she said she absolutely adored. The link is below:

http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/families/article4332635.ece

Bottom line is that incest occurs more often than people think. Read the article for yourself and see.

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A male reader, JTalbott United States +, writes (26 May 2008):

JTalbott agony auntSounds like another fake fantasy post.

If it is real, the sister is likely experienced very severe childhood trauma that messed with her sense of relationship boundaries.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2008):

I have read about girls learning how to give blowjobs by asking their brothers to let them practice on them or asking their brothers to show them how to give a blowjob. But this is the first post I've read about a girl just doing that to her brother without at least asking first.

And since she didn't ask you for permission to give you a blowjob before doing it, I agree with those who say that she sexually assaulted or raped you. If you had done this to her, you could be charged with sexual assault, so the fact that she did it to you makes her criminally liable.

As far as how you should handle this situation, that depends on how you feel now that it has happened? Do you feel violated, ashamed, and/or traumatized? Would you want this experience to happen again, or not? If the answers to the first questions is yes, and no to the third question, then I think you need to talk to your sister and tell her in no uncertain terms that she had better not do it again.

Finally, if you feel like you were violated, I would tell your parents. If you and your sister live in your parents' house, then you have to live by their rules. I think your sister might also need counseling, especially if she feels like this was no big deal. I would not let this situation go by without addressing it in some way. Best of luck to you and please post back as to what you have decided to do and if these replies have been helpful.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2008):

To the anonymous female poster from May 20, I am really sorry that you were sexually abused by your brother. That is a terrible crime and I hope you can recover from the incident and go on to lead a happy life.

But I find it very unusual that a girl, no matter how drunk, would give her brother a blowjob. I could understand that if this guy's sister was sexually aroused, she might mount her brother and try to have sexual intercourse with him to get sexual satisfaction, but I don't think giving a blowjob would do much for her, other than get her even more sexually aroused, to the point where she would want to have full sex. So I find it hard to believe this guy's post.

Is there anyone else here who doubts the veracity of this post? I noticed that the original poster has not posted any followups to his original question.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2008):

I was in a similar situation with my brother when I was your age (10 years ago). Like you, I was turned on. However, I am in counseling for it as an adult because this is one of those situations that you did not choose to be put in and it is NOT YOUR FAULT! I could never have confronted my brother at the time, so I understand that you may not want to. My advice is to ask your parents if you can see a counselor, make up something else if you have to. Unless you are going to hurt yourself or others, a counselor will keep things private. You can talk about what happened in an environment where you will not be judged and he/she will not be as emotionally charged as a friend or family member. I suggest dealing with it now and saving yourself years of guilt; and you'll probably have to see someone later in life if you don't. Things happen; it is not the end of the world. Just find someone to talk to and life will go on. Remember - you didn't do anything wrong!!!

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A male reader, LazyGuy Netherlands +, writes (16 May 2008):

LazyGuy agony auntIf it was the other way around I would immediately suggest informing the police. Double standards eh?

Maybe it is because once you woke up you could easily stop her physically. Just beat the crap out of her.

But still, it is disturbing how different the reaction of myself and others is in this situation compared to how we would have reacted if you had done oral sex on your sleeping sister.

She molested you, well raped you. Physical excitement on your part is no excuse, that was just the body responding.

But what to do? I would suggest you at least confront her with it and demand she gets help, but really I would seriously consider involving the police.

Why? Who is next. If she molested you, who is she going to try this on next? A future son perhaps? Women can be child molesters too, as you just experienced.

If you are thinking of letting it go, think really carefully why she might have behaved this way. Drunk? That just allows us to do things we normally wouldn't but secretly want to.

Are you two normally close? How does she view the act of giving a blow job? Some people don't consider oral sex, sex. A certain ex-president for one. She might even not consider it a big deal.

But remember that all this is coming from a guy who would want you to spent some time in jail if the roles had been reversed. Like I said, double standards, they are a bitch.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2008):

No I wouldn't go to the police about it. I probably wouldn't tell my parents either but your relationship with them might be closer.

I'd talk to her, like other suggestions already, and tell her it was out of order.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2008):

wow

thats weird, sorry but it is! Im 5 years older than my lil brother... and uhm.... thats really really wrong of her.

You basically have two options,

1) get a lock on your door and make sure you lock your sister out at night

or

2) talk to your parents and the police about this.

Or both!

If you want to chat any more or anything, feel free to message...

hope this helps!

:-D

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A male reader, Uncle Sneaker United Kingdom +, writes (14 May 2008):

Uncle Sneaker agony auntFirstly, are you absolutely, absolutely sure? I know that sounds like a very odd question in view of what you just said, but is there any possibility, however remote, that it really was a dream?

Assuming it was real, then what do you want to do about it? Yes, it freaked you out, and you say your sister has always freaked you out. Was it, for you, the sort of event that is going to always bother you? Do you feel the real need to DO something? You know your family and your sister better than anyone here could possibly know them however much you tell us, so what would the reaction be if you do decide to do something about it?

You need to ask yourself all of those questions before you do anything at all. You also need to consider whether it was a one-off, a drunken mistake, and whether your sister now feels as uncomfortable about it as you do. If she doesn't, and if it wasn't a one-off, then almost certainly she needs help to sort out her behaviour and her feelings. Otherwise, I wonder whether it might be better to treat it as the dream that it ought to have been - the dream you thought for a moment it actually was. Push it into a corner of your mind and forget it completely. That might be the most practical solution, but it's not the right solution if either your sister is left with serious problems or if it's going to be something that you can't get over without bringing it up and having it dealt with.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2008):

You need to tell her that she was way out of line doing that and that it better hadn't happen again! Why would she even do that? Even if she was drunk that's pretty freaky! Would you be able to talk to your parents or someone about it - if that would help at all.

Let us know how things go. Good luck.

xx Hope xx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2008):

Report her, drunk or not it is sexual abuse. Im sure your parents would be uncomfortable with the event so perhaps you should share this with them so that they can get to the bottom of her messed up head.

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