A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid, I have been sex free for ten years now I am not in a relationship with anyone my sex drive is shot due to being abuse by men in my life mentally and physically and I just gave sex up period right long with drinking and smoking pot .I get teased all the time by my siblings they tell me I need to get some sex toys or find me a man and that's when I begn to shut down .Vibrators are not for me it's just a mimick of the males private part in which I don't use because it doesn't show affection it CAN'NT ask me how was my day at work it just doesn't do what I want a man to do .So with all this being said how can I tell them to mind their own business and stay out of mine? I will find love when the time is right or Love will find me when the time is right but for now I Love me and Being Single is just Fine.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (30 April 2013):
 It takes two people to have a conversation. Turn it into a monologue (theirs)
sibling: so how's your love life?
you: working out just fine for me thank you!
sibling: so did you get a man or a vibrator yet?
you: I've made some private changes in my life and will not be discussing them with anyone else. End of conversation.
sibling: so which is it?
you: I've made some private changes in my life and will not be discussing them with anyone else. End of conversation.
sibling: so you are embarrassed and don't want to share?! (goading you)
you: I've made some private changes in my life and will not be discussing them with anyone else. End of conversation.
note the cut and paste? it's because that's what you do to them... it's NONE of their business and you do not have to discuss it with them but since you have in the past you must retrain them... use the exact same words over and over and they will tire very quickly of asking....
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (30 April 2013):
 Just tell them that you have no intentions of sharing your private life with them if they can't respect you and your choices.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2013): Lie!
Tell them your having sex with 2 different men and if they ask for further details, ask them if they are so sad do they need details of your sex life to get by? More people are happily single than ever before,
Another good one is to mention when you look at some people's partners it makes even more sense just to use men for sex as your not stuck living with an idiot ....that might make them look to themselves rather than analyse you!
You sound like a good person and just tell them all to back off!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2013): Just ignore it OP, that's how people are. Society pressures women so much to have a man that people think you must be sad and lonely without one. You're firmly in the "lonely old spinster" box now as far as society is concerned and unfortunately society still views women like you as sad, lonely and incomplete.
OP if you have nothing to prove to anyone then just say you use your fingers instead or that you do have a vibe.
You could smile and nod etc. but telling them that you have a pretty awesome vibe to satisfy your sexual urges and you'll get a man once a good comes along then they'll leave you alone.
Now the choice is simple OP, you either want to be a champion of the single woman and stick to your guns in which case they'll always pester you and annoy you or you can tell a little white lie to get them off your back.
It's up to you, but they will not stop annoying you as long as they think you've given up on love, men and sex.
I've never had that issue because I'm a man, everyone assumes when a man is single that we're living it up and sleeping around. I feed them that too, I may be single for a year with no female contact at all and I'm always left alone because I say "I'm just enjoying being single *wink* *wink*" and they just assume I'm out there getting with women.
So what is it that you're pissed off about here OP, the fact they won't shut up about it or the fact that society views you as a "sad, lonely old woman". It's easy to get them to shut up with a little lie and you will never convince them that they're wrong think that you must be sad and lonely. So one is easily solved and the other you'll just have to accept is the way the world is.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (30 April 2013):
 Whenever your siblings make a comment about your private life, just politely give a little smile and go aboutyour business...ignoring them and keeping them guessing is the key.
There are a couple of down sides to being single...but there are a many more up sides and there is nothing like having emotional and financial freedom, to do what you wish, when you wish...to date who you like or not to date at all.
Being single allows you to be YOU, not someones wife or girlfiend or partner and you can explore yourself at your own pace.
As for vibrators, some people like them, some do not...it's your choice and ultimately (despite all the teasing) you are doing things your way!
You have shown, by quitting drinking and smoking, that you have a deep sense of self prservation and survival instinct...that means you love yourself because you wanted to save yourself from harm. There is nothing more precious than respecting the life you have. I think you should be very proud of yourself and you are right!!...love will find you, when you are ready to recieve it.
Ignore everyone else...you're doing fine!!!
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