A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Ok so here we go..I'm gay and all my friends and most of my coworkers know it. I have one straight room mate and about 8 months ago my straight room mate asked me to give him a massage and it turned into more then that. At the time i thought it was a bad idea, but I kind of got taken in the moment. He has a girl friend and says he is straight, but we have continued to mess around every couple of weeks. He knows I have feelings for him although I have never really told him directly. It has been really eating me up inside, I really love him. I think it was a bad idea to put myself in this situation but now I don't know what to do. I love our friend ship and don't want to loose it, but every time he is with his girl friend I feel like crap, I don't want to be his secret on the side.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2008): I can relate to your story almost the same is happening to me .....Im in love with my best friend. Sometimes i feel i shoul go see a psychologist because i can't stop thinking about him....I never told him that im in love with him !!!!!!! I feel so bad.
A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (18 December 2008):
 he is using you as a recepticle to place his orgasms in. yet he has a girlfriend who he can do that and more with.
i've been there myself and shagging strait friends only leads to them using you as they will only ever want a taster to make their boring sex life exotic then afterwards go oops.
you know this is bad for you-if he is your friend you need to stop this from occuring (avoid alcohol sex-bad decisions. it wont go anywhere and you will end up resenting each other. him because you will try to push for more and you because he wont push for more.
you may not have a friendship if it continues
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A
male
reader, askJAY  +, writes (18 December 2008):
 whoops, i didn't note how old you were before i wrote my answer...at your age you probably need more than just fun with the/a guy.
communicate your feelings to him. tell him that he is disrespecting you by using you for quickies. its up to you though to stop yourself from being used.
get over it and get your own boyfriend. OH, and why on earth do you have a room-mate at your age of 41-50?
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A
male
reader, askJAY +, writes (18 December 2008):
hmmm...quite tricky...
he is disrespecting you by using you every now and again for a bit of a quicky. you are allowing yourself to be used. so either you continue to just be that, or you put an end to it. i think you'd rather have a bit of him than nothing at all though, so you will probably do whatever he wants LOL.
shame man. not a fun situation. ALSO though, try seeing it from his point of view. guys don't necessarily relate sex and relationships. its just something mad about us, i don't know why, but anyway...you are almost taking the feminine point of view, feeling all bad about it...don't be silly, just enjoy it and understand that his girlfriend comes first. if i was you i would just respect his wishes to "be" straight and enjoy the fun with him. just be a guy about it man. haha.
don't make the situation deep and intense, or you will lose his friendship.
anyway.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (17 December 2008):
 If you don't want to be his little secret then tell him that and that you need to stop any sexual activities. You just want to remain friends only. I really don't see that you have any choice here.
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