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My relationship has gone stale, how can I revive it and start being myself around him?

Tagged as: Faded love, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 November 2008) 1 Answers - (Newest, 29 November 2008)
A female Ireland age 30-35, *onderlove19 writes:

My boyfriend and I have been together for three years, and about four months ago, we moved in together.

We've had problems in the past that are still lingering around, trouble is, now that we're constantly around eachother, the problems have become intensified and scattered. I'm so incredibly confused. I love him, but he's the type of guy who has had a lot of emotional damage and has a lot of painful baggage. I try to be supportive and loving but i just feel neglected and unappreciated. I know he doesnt mean to make me feel this, but he does. We're now taking time to figure out if we want to continue the relationship. I love him, and I want to be with him, but I dont know how much more of him I can stand. Its a love/hate situation. He can be the sweetest guy ever, and then the most boring and bland person on the planet other times.

I really need help. My love and patience is fading fast and I dont know what else to do. Also, I cant be myself around him anymore. Im not sure I ever could. Any tips on how to revive a relationship that has gone a bit stale? And help for me who cant seem to relax and be myself with him. Thank you.x

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A female reader, christibeth United States +, writes (29 November 2008):

christibeth agony auntI have read your question and I can honestly say that it caught my attention fast. I can relate to exactly what your going through only because I have gone through similar things in my relationship as well. I am not sure that I have perfect advice for you but I just wanted to let you know that your not alone in how you feeling.

I have one thing to say that might help you, never stop being yourself. Once you try and change for someone else the relationship is then already over. He must let the past go and you should bring to his attention your feelings. He should know what you expect out of this relationship and what your expecting is to be yourself and appreciated for the patience you have for his past.

3 years is too long to let go of, you should not give up instead try very hard to communicate your feelings and love through the hard times.

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