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female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: Hello. I am in a relationship with a guy for 4 months now. He is a really nice person. We always connect on so many levels. He loves me and i love him too. He understands me and supports me. He is like a backbone. He is very romantic and very loyal and responsible.Everything is good about the relationship except the intimacy part. He is good in foreplay and stuff. He has a good physique but his penis is very small. I am never ever satisfied with him and he hasn't got much moves. Sometimes i feel the foreplay is better than the sex. He cannot even get it up sometimes. But the most important thing is i am not feeling anything even during the little time of sex. I haven't slept with many men. Is this happening because of the size? I am too afraid that he might get hurt if i bring up this topic. He is a very nice guy. I don't want to hurt him. Is there any solution? Or should i compromise on the good sex? It is really frustrating.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2019): The fact that your partner is as you describe, very small, is a limitation that he cannot overcome, but it can be worked around. He can learn new and better moves, from you! Vaginal orgasms are very rare, so he can give you plenty of orgasms orally and manually! He can also learn to last longer inside of you. Now I myself am rather small so I understand well, your desire to feel the stretch and full feeling of a much larger penis, since my wife of over 25yrs has always had those same needs, which we have always worked around! During sex, I use a 7in dildo on her to stretch her. Then when she masturbates, she uses an 8in suction cup dildo, that mounts on any smooth flat surface. Oral sex is my own favorite, so my lady never lacks for orgasms, or full dildo stretching! The dildo that I use on her is only 7in, due my zeal in penetrating her. You can work around his limitations to attain intimacy and have a fulfilling sex life to cement your relationship! Btw, he already knows his dick is small. No hurt feelings.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2019): most women cannot orgasm through penetration regardless of penis size. Penises just aren't all that. Work on him being able to get you off with his fingers or oral sex. That's a skill anyone can learn and it'll lead to a longer lasting more satisfying sex life than relying on a penis.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  + ♥, writes (24 July 2019):
 P.S. My own experience of penis size has been that men with smaller appendages tend to actually make BETTER lovers because they try harder. Many men with larger "gifts" think that is all that is needed to make a woman happy in bed - and that she should be grateful for that. I would rather have the former any day.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (24 July 2019):
Have to totally agree with Honeypie here. Big dick does not necessarily mean good sex, or vice versa. It's how they use it that matters. A big dick can actually be quite painful if used inconsiderately.
You sound like you might both need to learn a bit more about good sex. You are already off to a good start in that your boyfriend appears to understand the importance of foreplay. The vast majority of women cannot get off on penetration alone, regardless of the size of the penis inside them. Most need manual stimulation as well and very many can get off without penetration being involved at all. It is all about having the confidence to tell your partner what you like (everyone is different and nobody is a mind reader). Also about experimenting with different positions and different touches.
As for discussing his penis size, what can you possibly get from that? He cannot magic himself a bigger penis. All you will do will be to hurt his feelings and make him anxious.
Do you want to stay with this guy and work at the sex, or would you rather call it a day and find someone with a larger penis? Simple question, no hidden agenda. We all have our preferences.
I do wonder why you think you are in love after such a short space of time. You are possibly "in lust" but even that is questionable. Why do you need someone
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (24 July 2019):
 I agree with Code Warrior too,
This might not be something you want to compromise on. However, sex is not something people are born being good at. It's something that with the RIGHT partner can improve on VASTLY. The better you know your partner, his/her body and likes/dislikes the better the sex can be.
As for the size of his penis... Having a BIG dick doesn't mean a guy is good at sex, nor does having a small dick mean a guy is bad at it. Same with ANY other body part of YOURS/THEIRS.
IF you ALREADY feel like something in lacking (the sex) in the relationship, then end it. BUT DO NOT tell him it's because of his size. Seriously. Pretty sure you wouldn't want to have someone dump you because he said the thought your vagina was "too big". Like Code Warrior said, these are things that CAN NOT be altered. The size of his dick is the size it is. No changing that.
One thing I also want to point out... a guy with a smaller penis or a woman can get another woman off... with the right moves and skills.
It might be the positions you two choose where you don't feel him as much, or you are very well-lubricated, or you two don't REALLY know each other's bodies and what makes them tick - it's hard to say. It's might also just be that NEITHER of you are that skilled at lovemaking yet. With some partners it just clicks and bodies work well, for others it takes time to find what really rocks.
If you can find ONE guy with a great personality, you might be able to find another.
He sounds like a good guy, but that doesn't always mean he is a good partner overall.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (24 July 2019):
 Don't compromise on anything. If the sex isn't good and you stay with him just because he's a good guy, then eventually you'll go on to resent him more and more each day. His penis won't grow bigger but your sex drive will. It'll eventually lead to you getting utterly frustrated and unhappy with the relationship because a vital part is missing. As good as he is as a person, he's not pleasing your sexually. I think that's a pretty big deal breaker.
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (23 July 2019):
Code Warrior is right!
If you go to the store to by a dress, but the sales person keeps giving you a pairs of pants. Would you just pay for pants even though that was not what you wanted??
No...You would leave and go get your dress somewhere else...And that was just a dress. This is your life we are talking about. If you need certain things in life, and someone keeps giving you what you don't want, you just accept it??? FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE??
If you want good sex, then go get what you want, and stop settling for what's given to you.
Don't care how much you love him now, you will resent him later, and you know it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2019): Hi OP,
As far as I understood, your are complaining not only about the size, but also about the duration of actual penetrative sex and problems with erection.
I assume that he has no health issues?
Let's imagine that his erectile problems were gone and that he could last longer. Would that change anything for you?
What strikes me the most about your post is that you don't sound the least bit attracted to him. You point out his qualities as a person, when you are about to talk about your sexual problems.
So, are you attracted to him or not? Because without this feeling of mutual attraction you cannot have good sex. He has "good physique" doesn't mean that you are attracted to him.
Your description of him is like someone a woman who hasn't had much luck in love settles for. The sad thing is that solely by your description, I think he deserves someone who'll not only like him, but be crazy about him. I know. Catch 22.
So before you talk to him - and you should talk to him - think about how you really feel (btw, after only four months, you cannot talk about love). He makes you feel safe, that is for sure. So ask yourself why you need someone to make you feel that way. Why do you need someone loyal and responsible to be your "backbone" at this tender age?
When you decide whether you are attracted to him and want him as a friend or bf, then talk to him. It would be also good to have at least an idea of what you like in sex. From then on you can explore. but do not ignore your needs.
He may have some health issues and/or he may be simply stressed because he is aware of the size problem. Whatever it may be he needs reassurance. So thread carefully. Size is something he cannot change, everything else is on the table. And he sounds like someone who wants to satisfy his partner.
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