A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My partner of 11 yrs told me we should be having sex four times a day.I don't think that's very realistic.Is it time to release him to seek other people who want to spend the time he wants in sexual activity? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (22 October 2019):
 Totally unrealistic, for normal people who also have a job, and other interests in life , beside sex. Not physically attainable for most people in your age bracket- and if attained, probably a disquieting sign of sexual addiction / mental health problems.
The British Journal of Urology recommends men in their 50's to have sex 3 times a week ( not 3 times a day ) to protect against prostate cancer, and this is a recommendation aiming to an optimal result, when the average number of sexual encounters for men in their 50s is only one per week, or thereabout.
Regardless of feasibility , I don't see why your partner says you °should ° have sex 4 times a day ." Should " ?
Why ? You only should, if you BOTH felt the need and the
wish to have sex 4 times a day. If you don't, and he does, then you should NOT, you should instead find a compromise that is fulfilling ( or , at least, not punitive ) to both of you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2019): Is it possible he was only joking? If he's in your age-group somewhere around 51-59? Pa-Leez!
Call his bluff and take him up on his challenge! He's not in his teens or 20's anymore; and he couldn't arise to the occasion that frequently if you took him up on it!!!
He's ringing his own bell, and just being a boasting old-coot!
Yeah, it's time for a trade-in. Somebody his age shouldn't be talking trash like that to you. He doesn't plan to marry you; so he's past his expiration-date.
If you yourself suggested maybe it's time to dump him; I presume you've already packed his things.
Just change the locks and leave his baggage on the porch. If you live in an apartment building, leave them in-front of the door. Send him his share of the deposit. You owe him that much!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2019): Ad a woman in her 50s there is no way I could do three days a week . I’d love to but menopause really affects the body and I’d be constantly battling problems with UTIs and pain . Even with dr advise and the right approach 1-2 times is the best I could hope for . the vast majority of men will assume that women can have sex every day and that it’s only men who are affected by physical change as they get older . They have no
Idea about how much menopause can impact women and don’t seem to take that into account
I really don’t know how any woman would deal with 4 times a day . I would say that sounds like some type of unrealistic scenario he is setting up to make excuses to justify other women possibly ?
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice  + ♥, writes (21 October 2019):
 Well the topic on this recently was in their 40's not 50's.
folks in their 50's can easily manage 2 ot three rounds a week. (not month) Assuming they are relatively healthy and have managed to get their adult children moved out.
When a couple mutually decides how often they should have sex. They should generally decide on a minimum rather than a maximum. And those limits should be flexible.
On the other hand it might be interesting to get a 50 plus man to attempt 28x in a week. Of course there should be a chat with a doctor before attempting that kind of performance.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2019): Your partner needs to get a job and stop being a bum, he has too much time on his hands clearly
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2019): Could he be saying that joking with you? If he is in the same age group as you and after being 11 years together I would think it will be highly unrealisitc to be able to do that. I would say he would be dead lucky if he was able to reach that figure in a month let alone a day.
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A
female
reader, Ciar + ♥, writes (20 October 2019):
 He sounds dull, so I'd say it might be time to let this one go.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2019): OP, my Gf has a libido that would match your husband, but that being said, we are both age 21! Also, it is not realistic because at uni, we have classes, papers to write, lectures to attend, lab work, and endless reading to do. We usually are on the run, eat only twice a day, squeeze in some sleep! We both stay tired and have sex only 2 or 3 times a week. Does your husband have a job? Also do you work outside the home, and being a homemaker? Honestly I think your hubby is full of it! For his age group, having sex with you 28 times per week is very hard for any normal guy, to imagine! And when would he find the time anyway? Working a job, mowing the lawn, raking the leaves, cleaning the rain gutters, removing the trash, paying bills, shovel the snow, upkeep on the car, meals, and some sleep, seems to preclude most men from making love 28 times per week! You are correct OP, entirely unrealistic! And even if you could, would you not soon get bored with the repeditive nature of needing to do it every 4hrs?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2019): Are you the person who posted something similar a few weeks back?
It's too much if you say it's too much. Your partner saying you 'should' have sex four times a day makes him a selfish s*** in my view.
You should have sex as much as mutually agreed and no more.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (19 October 2019):
 OK, so he "thinks" 4 times a day is the "norm". Could he really get it up that many times a day and sustain that erection?
Where does he get that number from? Did he just pluck it out of the air or read it somewhere?
Are YOU interested in sex 4 times a day? Honestly, it sounds exhausting. But for some it might be realistic, however in your age group, I don't think it's common at all.
But what it comes down to is whether or not is something you WANT to partake it, can handle (after all, menopause can make sex somewhat harder/painful).
If you aren't interested in that much sex, you are incompatible (sexually) and that does spill over in the rest of the relationship, so maybe it would be better for the both of you to move on.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  + ♥, writes (19 October 2019):
 Does he put pressure on you to have sex 4 times a day? Does he make you feel guilty/inadequate/uncaring if you refuse? Has sex with him become a chore rather than a pleasure?
If the answer to any of the above is affirmative, then you probably do need to tell him you are not prepared to put up with his behaviour any longer and, if 4 times a day sex is his priority, he needs to find himself a female who feels the same way. Good luck with that one - especially if he is of a similar age to you!
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