A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:my partner whom i have been with for 3 years is giving up smoking, its only been 4 days and he is very moody.sometimes calling me awful and hurtful names and yelling at me and having a go at me over small things that no one would get mad about. this emotional abuse is really getting me down, is there anyone out there who has been in a similar situation?, and what did they do to deal with the mood swings that there partners are having.
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female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (19 April 2007):
 Hi there, sweetness,
Isn't quitting a bitch? Yep, yep, the mood swings, the snapping... I've been there before. Quitting smoking is very, VERY hard... it's an addictive and when you try to stop, you start to crave. And when you start to crave and you can't do anything about it, it starts to drive you crazy. Hence the yelling and the crazy behavior.
All though it's not cool for him to be treating you badly, please understand that this isn't him. It's sort of like when we women get PMS and you can't help getting that attitude, only I will venture to suggest that quitting smoking is about 10x worse. His body right now is trying to adjust to not having nicotine. his body is sort of FREAKING OUT. The first couple of weeks are the worst, and then the mood swings calm down... so does the jumpiness.
I have quit smoking before and I've seen many others do it as well. It's possible, but what's most important is the ceasless love and support you get from those close to you. You need to grit your teeth and let him be a little bit of a jerk because that's just what happens when you try to cut yourself off from smoking.
Sit him down when he's in a better mood and say, "look... I know you're quitting and I am so proud of you. I support you all the way. However, lately you've been getting really angry and calling me some really hurtful things. I understand that quitting is hard, but you can't push me away. I love you and I want to help you. I understand if you're moody or you want some time alone, but please try to be considerate of me."
Don't attack him (or else he'll just freak out on you again), be nice, offer smiles and support.
If he CONTINUES this bad behavior over the course of more than a few days... like weeks, then you've got more of a problem. Then that has crossed the line from moodiness from quitting to just plan emotional abuse. That's when you say that you're leaving him until he figures himself out and cleanses his body.
Be strong, sweetness.
xxIndia
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2007): Well he won't b like that 4 long it's just cus he's only just stopped.I wouldn't take it 2 heart,at least he's stopped!
I hope this helps!x
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A
female
reader, lucky lynne  +, writes (18 April 2007):
 I pity you here. You need to sit him down and tell him. Yes , i have been in this situation. My husband did exactly the same. I knew he was having sneaky ciggarettes as soon as it stopped after 3 weeks. Its difficult because you want him to quit,yet you get abuse in return.
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