A
female
age
51-59,
*usieQ1970
writes:My partner is still living with his ex girlfriend. He told me a while ago that their relationship was dead and once he had told her we started to become close again. He won't kick her out but is prepared to let her stay as long as she wants until she finds a flat. She has one but can't move in til early May.He has not told her that they cannot resume their relationship once she moves out so she thinks this is still possible. She does think they have split because of me but that is untrue. She read some text messages that I sent him and he told her that I had asked him if we could be together so again she thinks this is all my fault.We had a run in at the weekend, she became abusive and violent to both myself and him. But again he went home and told her there was nothing going on.I think it unfair that she doesn't know the truth as she's living in an unreal world. Should I wait until she moves out and then try and contact her to tell her truth or is ignorance bliss?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Midge +, writes (4 April 2007):
 If this guy is in love with you, and wants a relationship with you, then he shouldnt be keeping your relationship a secret.
At the end of the day, you and he both know that your relationship was not the end to their relationship, so what anyone else thinks, who cares!
You should perhaps tell him that if the relationship means so much to him, that he shouldnt be telling her that there is nothing going on. He should be telling her the truth.
Allow her to stay until May, as its the kind thing to do, but he needs her to be clear where she stands.
Its not a healthy relationship if he's sending her mixed signals. He's "supposedly" telling her its over, which if you weren't there, you can only go by what he says, and then whilst in your company tells her there is nothing going on? He is having his cake and eating it too!
I'm sorry but if it were me, I'd be telling him that he needs to send clear messages to this woman. Whose to say that he isnt still seeing/sleeping with her, and also seeing/sleeping with you? I hate to be the pesamist as its not in my nature, but you have some thinking to do!
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