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My parents are super controlling & its affecting my relationship

Tagged as: Dating, Family, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 January 2009) 1 Answers - (Newest, 18 January 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Ok, my problem isn't necessarily a relationship one but it does affect it. I am now almost 19 yrs old (first year at college (here in a city and not your regular college town) i have a dorm room and often visit my parents. I used to work but my grades slipped and my dad told me it was ok and he would help me financially (its to be noted that i am on full scholarship so they don't pay for school).

They have controlled every relationship i had with men. about a year ago i started dating my current bf and i also lost my virginity to him (i do not regret it at all) however my parents are very strict my mom especially is very critical. They know my current bf and they seem to like him. I started going out more and more with him and its to no surprise we want to sleep at my dorm together but my parents basically have me here every weekend, they call me, ask me if he's there and to be very honest i hate lying and i often have to tell them where i am or what i intend to do for the day.

I mean once i went out with my bf for dinner and left from the house and called them to tell them i was heading to the dorm and my mom yells at me telling me i'm a decent young lady that needs to be dropped here home and that i didn't tell my dad i was staying at the dorm. So i run back home and my bf trailing behind me and we both sleep separetedly in diff rooms and not together like we wanted (we make this ornate story to hide the fact that we sleep together).

Now I decided to visit him (He is at another college at least 3 hrs away) My parents didn't know and my mom found my tickets... i lied to her telling her i bought them for a friend. I want to see him again and our relationship is working out and we are both very happy. I don't know if to keep lying or if i should just come clean? my mom keeps telling me i take him too serious and she laughs at me when i tell her i love him.

Are my parents being super controlling? what do i say? how do i tell them i love my bf and am determined to go see him without causing a fight between them and me? i don't want to disappoint them but at the same time my bf insists i live my own life and stop letting them control me that we constantly fight about this. We often fight because of this and he made a point to say "see you whenever the leash comes off nighty" last night when i told him i couldn't see him b/c my mom would probably suspect something and i don't want to fight. Please help me someone! i love this boy and he waited for so long

View related questions: lost my virginity

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2009):

Well, you should come clean with your parents. Convince them that this guy means alot to you, if you don't then you'll end up lying to them all of the time! Your parents only want whats best for you. They have your best interests at heart, trust me mine are the smae way, when they do this its because they care, not because they just want you to suffer!

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