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My parents are so strict I can't grow my relationship!

Tagged as: Dating, Family, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 December 2014) 2 Answers - (Newest, 26 December 2014)
A female age 22-25, anonymous writes:

I'm 15. Me and my boyfriend have been together for two years now. We go to the same school and are in the same grade but we don't have any classes together. So, we only get to see each other between a few of our classes. Neither of us have our own phones(our parents won't let us have our own phone unless we pay foe it ourselves) so we only talk on the phone for a hour a day(if where lucky) and we never get to see each other out of school bc of our parents. we love each other very very much and have talked about our future together. We want to go to the psame college and have a future together. But, how are we suppose to grow in our relationship when we can't see each other out of school?? Ive cried myself to sleep so many times bc of my situation. How do I make it change? My parents are so strict. I go to school and I come home. Its the same thing every day. I'm not allowed to hang out with my friends or nothing. I have no social life!! Help?!?! What can I do to see my boyfriend?!?!

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (26 December 2014):

YouWish agony auntMaybe that is your parents' plan that nothing "grows" outside of school, meaning they want you concentrating on your education instead of making opportunities to become sexually active at your age.

I wasn't allowed to date under the age of 16, and even though I hated it then, they were right. I had really good honor roll grades, almost a 4.0 average, and I was thinking about my future life. Then I got my heart broken by a guy, and suddenly I was having study problems. That's a distraction.

If you truly love this guy, you'll be patient and trust that he will still be there when you get older and more independent. True relationships will stand the test of time, and that means overprotective parents and concentration on studies. It is NOT true love when the relationship consumes you, you cry yourself to sleep, and you think of ways to get around your parents and your grades suffer because you're so scared of losing him.

Make goals. If your parents let you have a phone if you can pay for it, then get a job and buy a cheap burner phone. Easy as pie! Then you can talk and skype him as much as you want.

As for being with him, wait until you're 16. Join activities together after school. Do something like volunteer for charities together. Just happen to go to the library to study and wow, he's there.

Why aren't you allowed to hang out with just friends??

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2014):

Hey :) im 15 too turning 16 in a month.. Well I was in the exact same situation as you! Anyways, first tbh if you wanna be like me, I was quite sneaky... Which isn't really good honestly. But the thing is my parents allowed me to go out in groups. So I think the best way is just to talk to them for now.. Like tell them, you are 15 and reassure them that you won't do smtg stupid to jeopardise yourself.

So why not you and your girlfriends or a group of you go out together for like a movie and of course invite your boyfriend too. It'll be nice. I know you guys would wanna be alone and all cuz that's how my boyfriend and I felt. So maybe get your parents to come a little later after the movie so you guys can have a little time together. I know it's sneaky and all.. Well it's what you can do at the moment. Or... You could just tell your parents that they're suffocating you. Cuz that's how I feel about it.. Not even being able to hang with your friends, that's insane.

I am not gonna teach you to lie cuz it's just really dangerous.. I got a way with it but literally you'll be paranoid the whole time. So my advise would be to talk to them first. And tell them that you're responsible enough and ask them to trust you. And if they don't approbe suggest a movie date with a group of your friends.

Though it maybe tough.. So good luck!

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