A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:On Valentine's Day, my boyfriend presented me with a promise ring. We've been together since my senior year of high school, and I will be 20 shortly. We want to get engaged and then married someday, but I want to finish my college education first. (He joined a labor union, so he's been working since graduation.) I showed it to my parents who scoffed at it. Since the 14th, they have repeatedly told me to not wear it/give it back/etc. I want my parents support in the decisions I make in life, (this is not the first thing they do not support ie: I'm going to school for education, they tell me I'll never get a job.) and I am tired of getting put down for wearing a piece of jewelry. The ring is beautiful and I love it and my boyfriend, I just don't know how to make my parents not hate it so much.
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female
reader, mizz.butterflies +, writes (22 February 2011):
 dont worry about ur parents. some people will only respect ur actions if u stick to them. meaning? if u back down and do as they tell u,next time they'll step on you again. if ur sure about what u want,thats all that matters. tell ur parents u love them but this is ur life and ur decisions,even if ur wrong about them,ur gonna take responsiblity. u can never win at life if u dont take any risks. Stick to college tho! dont give it up. u can stay engaged until u get ur degree and then get married.no need to rush.
A
female
reader, No watered down advice here! +, writes (22 February 2011):
 You have to stop living for your parents, you love him and that's what matter. If you allow them to stop you from wearing the ring then they will feel you never loved him. Prove them wrong! Wear your ring!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2011): Congrats for you on making independent and smart decisions and commitments. I don't see the harm in making a commitment to someone whom you love and feel strongly about. I definitely don't see any harm in pursuing an education. Statistically speaking, your parents are dead wrong about "not getting a job" after going to college.
Why are they putting you down? I don't think it's the ring they care about so much, but what it signifies. You might be making smarter decisions than they did. They don't want you to think about it or see you profit from the choices they didn't make. It might not be conscious on their parts, but they are probably jealous of your youth and your optimism.
You seem like you are making adult decisions with your education and relationships. It might be time for boyfriend and you to consider moving in together. Having your own space will let you live without the constant criticism from your parents. Studying and trying to achieve your personal goals in an environment where you aren't supported is next to impossible. It might also give you a chance to really decide if you do in fact want to commit to your boyfriend. Good luck.
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