A
female
age
18-21,
*opelessAngel
writes:I've been with my man pretty much half a year now. Though I'm pretty much scared of expressing all my emotions at once and scared he might not feel the same, but from what he's told me; i am sure he loves me just as equally. The problem lately has been my family. My Mom and I are two diverse individuals; she's grown up in a place where relationships between man and woman arent accepted unless legally bonded (aka marriage) so she pretty much doesnt believe in marriage or anything. Whereas I grew up in a place where pretty much everything is acceptable. Despite which we're closely bonded like any mother or daughter...then again its unique. She supports me through everything, when i need protection and the highest level of affection she gives so much without even asking. But the one thing she doesnt accept, never has is me being in relationships. She pretty much destroyed my first love, with whom I could've spent my entire life but alas things had to end so drastically. Mainly because it was a she and so was I but never once could we succeed to prove that we loved each other through emotions not physical want. Now I'm with a guy, who might be a pain sometimes but he's almost everything for me. We love each other VERY much even when we live so far apart, and even if he might be an adult and I an overly emotional adolescent. We've been together even through the worst of times. Sadly mom's got a thing against him. I had him stay over and she threw a right fit over it. Now she throws police threats, giving me silent treatment even to the extent of blasting him one herself. Now she wants him kicked off and out of my life. First she wanted my first out cause she was a girl and told me I was better off with a guy. Now when I have found, with great difficulty, a nice guy to love she's gone against it too. And her silence is killing me, the fact she's trying to make me choose between her and him. I dont want to abandon either at any cost. What should i do? Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, HopelessAngel +, writes (24 October 2009):
HopelessAngel is verified as being by the original poster of the question I have told her that she's trying to snatch my happiness from me. Believe me my mom aint the talk type, everything has to start with a fight and end with a fight. its either her way or its neither. She knows I'm happy with him, its not like I'll be leaving her because she's equally important.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy + ♥, writes (23 October 2009):
I think you're mother is in fact more worried about losing you. It sounds more like she's jealous that you've found someone, and that she thinks you're going to abandon her. (Has she been abandoned before? Or made to feel very insecure?) I think you really need to sit down and tell her that you love her, but if she continues to act this way, then she's going to drive you apart. Also ask her why she feels this way. But you must stick up for yourself, otherwise you will never have a relationship. Men are very scared of a possesive mother in law, and any guy treated this way will run a mile. Good luck.
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