A
male
age
22-25,
*hite_swan
writes:Hi guys,I recently joined an adult erotica website where I met a girl who is 3 years younger than i, and after a while I added her to MSN. Im 23, shes 20 btw.She has told me that she is falling for me, and that she loves me. But yet, I am uneasy with the validity of this allegation because she seems to act in a manner, wholly inconsistent with it.She claims shes a medical student, and I guess I can believe that, but the problem is that all we EVER talk about is the following:1) sex2) her troubles, her angst, her woes her day.She doesnt know my birthday, despite the fact that Ive told her 4 times now. I know her entire lifestory, even the medical conditions she struggles with, and she herself admits she does not know me as well as she should.Last night I challenged her about it, telling her she made me chase her for conversation, and we only ever talked about her, and that it would seems that she never bothered to ask about me. She responded:" i dont know, i do want to ask but for some reason i dont "I have told her previously, in a diplomatic manner that I am actually happy to speak about certain my life, (i had said that SOME parts were off limits). She has told me deeply personal and painful things, and guys trust me this, this is the real deal. I just dont know what to do.....She says she wants to be a friend, and she wants a friend. I dont know what to do guys, is this a toxic relationship, and should I just let go?
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male
reader, CaringGuy + ♥, writes (29 September 2009):
Let this one go. A lot of women on these kind of internet sites are truly hurt and troubled. The sites prey on them to be honest. You would be better letting her go and finding a woman who is more comfotable with herself and can open up. This one is going to lead to real heartache.
A
female
reader, HereAreMyTwoCents  + ♥, writes (29 September 2009):
 You should just let go. You found her on an erotica website! Don't forget that. And she is obviously not as interested in you as you are in her since all she wants to talk about it is herself. If you do want to pursue this further, go ahead but don't be surprised if it doesn't work out, so don't put your heart into it that much. Remember you cannot truly say you love a person you have not even met. So when she says that she loves you, even if she thinks she means it, it cannot be true. She has not even met you!
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A
female
reader, DrPsych + ♥, writes (29 September 2009):
 Lock up your account as nothing good will come from this. You have got carried away partly in the hope of a sexual relationship, partly because you have become involved in her problems as her online counsellor. I doubt she is a medical student as they rarely have time for long online conversations with the marathon of practical lab work, exams and lectures they have to drag themselves through for five years. You can be whoever you want behind a computer and there are lots of people in chat rooms pretending to be someone they are not. Even if she is a trainee-medic then she appears to have emotional issues which may thwart her career because if there is one occupation where you have to be emotionally as strong as an ox, it is doctoring!
An adult erotic website is hardly the place to find a deep and meaningful relationship with someone. I am not being an old-fashioned prude about it, I just mean that these websites are set up in an overtly sexual way and attract the sort of people looking for brief encounters and escorts looking for work. There are a lot of odd people on the internet and I personally think it is a rare to meet someone this way and for it to last long-term as a friendship or romance. This girl sounds very self-absorbed and mixed up. She sounds as if she is looking for help in the wrong place - she needs to talk to someone like a counsellor about her problems rather than be emotionally exploited on the internet by people with the wrong intentions who may take advantage of her woes. The fact she says she is 'falling' for you is a prime example of her vulnerability - she doesn't know you as you are a stranger and you haven't even met her in the real world. It sounds like she is very lonely and trying to get attention by engaging in sex-chat and the like online. It is all very sad and pointless when the world is full of interesting people who are waiting outside the front door.
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A
female
reader, TalkingHelps +, writes (29 September 2009):
 It seems that your needs aren't being catered for in this online friendship, but then again, a good friend listens.
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