A
female
age
16-17,
*addierose
writes:please dearcupid approve this quickly! it might be too late otherwise!i have been good friends with this guy on the internet for about 2 years now and he has ever mentionwed having feelings from me. he lives a long way away from me and is 5 years older than me, i am 14 by the way and i have never given him any indication that i like him as more than a friend. yesterday he told me he loves me but we hadnt spoken for 2 months, he said he'd kill himself if i wasnt with him, so i said yes. today i told him my mum found out and has told me to break it off ( a lie to help me out of it) he told me he was going to kill himself and took 10 of these weird pills, and i gave in again but i told him it was only because i didnt want him to kill himself and he said okay. now i'm telling i cant do it because i dont feel this way about him and he is saying he is going to kill himself again. this is how the conversation is going at the moment:me: i am still saying no. but i still want to be friends with u and i dont want u to kill yourself.him: then if you don't be with me, i'll kill myself.me: thats blackmailhim: yeah...me: but thats not fairhim: i knowme: no i dont want u to die one bithim: then those are the only two choices.. i'll let you choose which one.me: dont do this to mehim: i'm sorry, you're either with me.. or i die..you get the idea... someone please tell me what to do. this is happening at the moment
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2008): hes only playing games with you,
he wouldnt kill him self.
its not your fault if he does but lets hope not.
if Hes 5 years older than you then thats another reason
why yous shouldnt go out. just dont listen to what he says
because half the timehe'd be lying to you.
just block the contact so there is no way that he can
contact you, by a week or so he would move on because he knows
he doesnt have a chance with you
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  + ♥, writes (15 December 2007):
 Ditto to Peoriaman and pla!njane's excellent advice. You can't fix what is broken in this boy and you are NOT responsible for him. THis is an abusive, controlling pattern, threatening suicide to get what you want, and he has issues that would put YOU in danger. Get yourself far away from him.
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A
female
reader, pla!njane  +, writes (15 December 2007):
 I doubt he'll kill himself, it's really more of a way to manipulate you.Tell him to jump in a lake, block him, and let him go on his merry way.If you're really worried? Tell him to leave you alone and give him some of this information or report this to the people at:Zest for the Prevention of Self-Harm and Suicide Tel: 028 71266999 Address: 15a Queen Street, Londonderry, BT48 7EQ Web: www.zestni.tk Email: [email address blocked] Line open 9-5 Monday to Thursday and 9-1 on Friday. Out of hours answering machine. Provide individual counselling, listening ear support and group work to individuals who self-harm, are at risk or suicide or are emotionally distressed. Self-referral. Samaritans Helpline: 08457 909090 Tel: 028 90664422 Address: 5 Wellesley Avenue, Belfast, Co. Antrim, BT9 6DG Web: www.samaritans.org.uk A confidential 24 hour helpline: 08457 90 90 90 which provides emotional and non-judgemental support to those in crisis and in danger of taking their own lives. You can talk to them about anything that's getting you down e.g. money, exams, work worries, if you are self-harming, relationship concerns, etc 24hrs, 7 days a week. Saneline Tel: 0845 767 8000 Web: www.sane.org.uk The service is open from 12 noon until 2am. A national mental health helpline providing information and support for people with mental health problems and those who support them. All calls are answered by supervised volunteers who undertake a full training programme. Also have an extensive database providing information on illnesses and symptoms, local and national mental health services, medication, treatments and therapies.
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A
female
reader, pgissyd  +, writes (15 December 2007):
 If you give in then you are letting him control you. put your foot down now, call his bluff if you wish.
tell him this.
'I love you and would love to be with you, But I am 14 years old, I have my parents and my education to worry about, do you want my education to suffer? If you loved me you would not threaten me with this, you would not be trying to upset me like this and you wouldnt be hurting me this way. so I do not believe you love me, if you dont love me you would not kill yourself over me. so I do not believe you. If you want to continue with this charade then do so, but I will not play this game. If you love me you will wait till I am older. If you love me you will not threaten me like this.'
Then end it there. You can copy this to the word if you like, I think it will get the point accross, then you do not speak to him again untill he has appologised and promised never to blackmail you again, and to wait till you are ready. If he continues to threaten then you do not speak to him again ever. he is trying to control you and WILL destroy you.
Take care, keep us updated xxx
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A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu +, writes (15 December 2007):
 Ok this isnt the sort of guy you should be friends with and i dont believe he will actually kill himself over you that just pathetic does he not realise the position he is putting you in?
Hmmm you dont need someone like this putting this kind of pressure on you, so block him from MSN just dont talk to him at all dont tell him your going to block him just do it this guy is pathetic and immature and is very childish to make you feel obligated to be with him because his life is on the line, just get rid of him and cut all ties with him he is a total creep!
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