New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login244945 questions, 1084256 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

My older boyfriend wants me to pretend to be his daughter.

Tagged as: Dating, Family, Sex, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 April 2019) 21 Answers - (Newest, 10 April 2019)
A female Ireland age 22-25, anonymous writes:

I dont think age should matter in a true loving relationship. My dad thinks otherwise and so I have moved out and anto my bf's place a few months ago. Although he is about 10 years older than me he is just so adorable. I like so love him to pieces as much as he loves me and I don't think about him being so much older just that he is so wonderful. But last week we were shoping and in this line at the checkout and he was talking to the couple in front of us and I came back to add another item in our trolley and he was acting/talking to thrm as if I was his daughter!!!!!. I felt as if he was embarrased being out with me.

I questioned him later and he just said it was a bit of fun to make them think that. I said I didn't want to have a second dad I just wanted him. But a some nights later we were making love and he asked me to call him dad. I froze and said why?my dad is like the totall opposite of him and any reminder of my dad upsets me.He said well maybe I can be a beter dad aslo if you want and Im like ok but why?. He said he just wanted to make me have a more happier opinion of what a dad shoud be so in the end I said well sure ok. Since then he has gone out his way to make believe that I really am his daughter sometimes I know it is funny sometimes but im like so way past that dad daughter relatinship really. But he insists that dads are not all like whot my dad had been. and that he was just trying to prove a point. Since then he agreed that for a while sometimes he should pretend to be my dad and if I tried to relieve my younger times again I would appriciate what my real dad was trying to be. So he agreed that I call him daddy and I tell him all about how unhappy I was when I was young , and he suggests things that might have made a diffenence. Since then I have gotton used to this and it even seems not strange anymore. I contacted my real dad and told him that I understod the problems we had better. But when I told Dave this he was like super mad and told me I shouldnt have contacted him. I was like so upset that he was mad at me I thought that was the whole point of reliving my past FFS!!! When he calmed down he appoligized . I dont know what I did wrong. He has been nothing but loving towards me and we are totally at one with each other ever since we were together. Since then he has showered me with even more love and gifts. He is not a creep or anything so dont any one say that. I just dont understand what I did wrong that was all.

View related questions: moved out

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2019):

Is he a sweet gentle man or does he controll you especially in the bedroom, if so get out.

<-- Rate this answer

A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2019):

Are you sure he really loves you?.

Have you noticed any other strange behaviour in him ?.

Does he like to role play in yoiur love life?.

Does he demand you do things just to please him?.

YOu sound such a nice sweet girl.

I really do hope all is well for you.

A friend xxx

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2019):

Sweetie, any man who gets pissed off that you contacted your own father needs to be red flagged and then discarded!! It's one thing to play out a harmless little fetish fantasy between consenting adults but it's clear to me this man is using your inexperience to control and manipulate you into being who he wants you to be and doing what he wants you to do. He doesn't know or care about the real you. You are just a fantasy. Period!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2019):

No no just no . Even if it’s role play it’s very clear this man has fantasies about young girls . That’s a sickness get out while you can . Don’t end up having his child and worrying about him molesting them

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2019):

Simple if he loves you ,he will explain why he got angry when you contacted your Dad. Has he asked you to dress up for him like a school girl, have your hair in pigtails or suck a lollipop and skip down the road holding his hand?.Has he expressed a desire to spank you?. If so then please phone home and tell your Dad. If it is all just harmless role play for the two of you and you both agree to do it then fine. If you on the other hand feel uncomfortable about anything he askes or wishes you to do then stop.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2019):

Maybe just maybe he was sincere when he said wanted to help you with your Daddy problems. It sounded like he really tried to help you but then again I was surprised when he get angry. If he explained why he got angry then I could understand but alll the other replys do make sense. Does he treat you right?. I really hope he doesnt hit you or anything like that. Only you know if you trust him.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom +, writes (7 April 2019):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntLook, it IS creepy, but maybe you’re too naive to see it. You felt it was strange because it IS and he’s manipulated you over time into thinking it’s normal now. He wants to have sex with someone he has groomed into behaving like his daughter. It’s a fetish and he’s trying to put you into that role because you’re young enough not to say “no” and stick to it.

Say you don’t want to any more and see how angry he gets. He’s trying to control you, rather than improve your relationship with your actual dad.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2019):

I agree with what several other aunts have mentioned . You really don’t know where this fetish stops and hiw sick he really is . I would steer well clear of him

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2019):

Never ever have a daughter with him.He would molest her.As you get older he will dump you because he needs a young daughter for his fetish.Dump him now so you do not waste any more time with him.He will dump you when you get older you know that.I hope he is not around children.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2019):

Hi hun

Now dont egt angry but i suspect that your NEW dad likes plenty of attention thrown his way doesn't he?

Easpecially plenty of SEX? yes? Does he also like to controll you in the bedroom ?(yes) has he asked or forced himself on you to have Anl sex? (im sure he has mentioned it? If you are OK with his fetishes then as som have said then its OK but I suspect he craves a fresh young girl to enjoy. If you are going to stay with hjim I suspect the demandds put upon you will increase (sexually) . Again if u are OK withthat then fine but be prepared to maybe (be used)As a rule personally if my BF wants something (special) he has to earn it (assuming I am up for it )Guys will usually try and pressure you in to preforming for them and puting alot of pressure on you to accept it.

Take care

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2019):

Weird weird weird... I would be very concerned about where his weird fetish stops. Does he have desires to be with under age girls? Does he have incest fantasies? I certainly wouldn't be comfortable around this guy.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2019):

Leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaavvvvvvve now

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2019):

He has no interest in helping you to work out any issues from your childhood. This is ALL about you getting to role play in a sexual fantasy about fucking his daughter.

He got angry that you called your father because he was shit scared that you might have told your father what your boyfriend had been playing at.

Unlike you, your father will understand EXACTLY why your boyfriend wants you to call him Dad. You are with a man who is into the idea of having sex with his 'daughter' and is getting you to play along under false pretences. I'm afraid your boyfriend IS an absolute creep, because he's lying to you about his motives and getting his rocks off at your expense because you don't seem to realise that you are partaking in what some would call a depraved and rather worrying sexual fantasy. If he had said that he gets turned on if he's pretending to have sex with his daughter and would you play along and you decide that you are ok with that, well then that's no-one's business but your own.

But he hasn't done that. He's lying to you and pretending to care about how you felt in childhood. Sorry, but all he's interested in is being turned on. That is all. And THAT is why you don't understand why he got angry when you started to involve your father in this scenario. He was terrified that you were going to tell him exactly how your boyfriend is 'helping' you. When he realised that you didn't actually tell your Dad about calling your boyfriend 'Dad', then your boyfriend calmed down.

If you don't believe me, suggest that you think you might tell your father about how you call your boyfriend 'Dad' at your boyfriend's request and watch your boyfriend go mad!!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2019):

He's 10 years older. That isn't a huge age difference for a daddy-daughter relationship. My bf is 15 years older and he loves that I look up to him like a father figure. It's just cause he's getting old and feeling insecure and wants to be wanted and especially needed. You're boosting his ego too. I don't think it's real love on his end. He's just enjoying the ride while it lasts. So watch your heart. And listen to your real daddy. Not this user.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2019):

He's manipulating you and you are endorsing it every step of the way.

"soon it all becomes normal!"

Except it isn't normal at all!

And you don't have to follow along with his plan!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2019):

Also something to think about is where does this guys fetish stop . Sure he might keep it legal but in his mind where is that age limit and are you comfortable with a guy who may have such disgusting impulses and fantasies

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, mystiquek United States + , writes (5 April 2019):

mystiquek agony auntHe has a fetish. People do all kinds of things in privacy and its pretty much "as long as no one gets hurt" attitude for most people. If you are ok with him acting out this way, who are we to stop you?

Some food for thought though and you may not want to hear it...Why did he lie to people about who you were? What happens when you get older and can no longer pass as his "daughter"? Will he replace you? Just a couple of ideas that you should think about and not just sweep under the carpet!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (5 April 2019):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntHe has a fetish, pure and simple. It has NOTHING to do with YOU but all about turning HIM on.

I suspect, when you get a bit older and no longer look like a child, he will swap you for a younger model so he can carry on his fetish.

I find it weird and creepy. YOU may be ok with it. It is an entirely individual thing. In your shoes I would be out of there so fast "daddy" wouldn't know what had hit him.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (5 April 2019):

N91 agony auntYeah he’s definitely lying.

Honeypie is spot on, it’s a fetish for him. Dating a young girl he wants to be called dad by? As a bit of fun? Passing it off as trying to make you have a better relationship with your own father? How exactly?

It turns him on.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2019):

Maybe he's not a creep but his actions are creepy. Getting mad at you for contacting your real father makes me think he is also trying to control you. If I were you I'd run for the hills.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (5 April 2019):

Honeypie agony auntHe LIED when he said he wanted you to "role-play" daddy issues and father daughter to HELP you with your relationship with your real dad.

It's a FETISH for him.

He wants the "kink" of being called Daddy. Why else would he be dating a woman young enough to BE his daughter and have her call him daddy and go over issues from your childhood?

YOU might not find it creepy (I do) but... if it works for you... then it works for you.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question "My older boyfriend wants me to pretend to be his daughter."

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.0312475999962771!