A
female
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asho320
writes:hi im 19 and had sex twice with my brand new boyfrend(we r goin out 4 weeks) he is too kind,too nice,gentleman,a bit too quiet and boring(and i am a loud girl) he is 21 yrs old and i work with him. he told me twice that he has fallen in love with me. and he wants to settle down wit me in a few years. the problem he is only four inches and my ex was nine inches so you can imagine my disapointment! he is not as good as my ex in bed. i feel selfish but i miss my ex bcoz he was way better in bed. i know sounds bitchy but i cant get my ex outta my head. i dont love my new boyfrend at all but he loves me. i miss my ex but the problem is my ex is 35yrs old, married(the wife never found out)with 2 sons, and he is my boss(we wer goin out for 4months and had sex 5 times,i dumped him bcoz he wanted me 2 get an abortion, luckily i am not pregnant)but i miss him so much i dont know what to do im so confused and cant stop crying i miss my ex but i know he is very very very bad for me but i still want him!you see he has this sexual charm and its so tempting he is absolutely brilliant in bed cant stop thinkin of him! but then again he is a lousy husband and father!
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female
reader, Irish49  + ♥, writes (1 February 2007):
 Asho, I feel for you, I really do. You have written about this married man, many times on the site, in the past. I thought you had worked things out but I can see you are still struggling, aren't you? I need to point out to you, in many of your previous posts, you were answered wonderfully well, much like how the Aunts below, so graciously gave of their time and advice to help you. Can I suggest something? Below I listed all the links to your prior questions about this ex married lover/boss of yours. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-18-and-having-sex-with-my-35.htmlhttp://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-am-sleeping-with-my-older-married-boss.htmlhttp://www.dearcupid.org/question/girls:-i-just-broke-it-off-w-.htmlhttp://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-affair-ended-and-i-learned-my-lesson.html
Please go through all of these and read every word that was written to you, just to you more clarity and strength. You have not shut the door completely on your affair with this married man. You still feel a strong emotional and physical connection to him. It takes time, I realize to get over someone you cared deeply for, keep on track and use your personal courage to work through this. But please, try not to date anyone until you are completely over this ex bf. It's really unfair to any new bf's and to yourself. You still have some baggage that needs working out. Counseling may help you. I wish you well, Asho. Take care, hun.
A
female
reader, AskEve  + ♥, writes (31 January 2007):
 Okay I'm going to be totally blunt and honest here. Your ex is a total sleaze ball and I pity his wife and family. You're right he IS bad for you and you must never go down that road again unless you want deeply hurt. You were lucky you weren't pregnant, you got let of lightly there, let it be a lesson to you.
Secondly, this present boyfriend sounds a lovely guy, just not for you. Even if he had a 10 inch penis, he STILL wouldn't be for you, you're not compatible with him, he's a totally different personality from you and much more sensitive. You already know you don't have a future with him as you find him dull and boring so you need to break it off with him. Let him know he's a nice guy and you really respect him as a person but you and him are just too different.
You've been with a naughty sleaze ball and you've been with a quiet and boring guy, next time could be 3rd time lucky for you.
Eve
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A
male
reader, kenny + ♥, writes (31 January 2007):
 I would steer clear of this older married man, and leave him to his wife and kids. invariably these people leave their wive, so you end up being a mistess, or bit on the side, and that is no life.
This older guy is going to be more experienced in the bedroom department than the 21 year old, but thats all it boils down to experience.
I say stick with the 21 year old.
Good luck x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2007): For one thing, you probably shouldn't be in a relationship until you've gotten over your ex. This may take some time but whatever you do, don't go back to him. Regardless of how great the sex was, it's simply not worth it to be involved with a man you can never really have.
That aside, I think the other issue here, is that you're recognizing something about yourself that takes some women years to figure out. And that's your sexual style. I wish I would've been more analytical with myself, when I was your age, because then I wouldn't have married a man who was "safe", comfortable and rather boring in bed. Trust me, once you've had good sex, you will always be searching for it again. And you don't want to end up having a string of extramarital affairs (like your ex has) because you and your boyfriend or husband are not compatiable. If I were you, I wouldn't continue seeing Mr. Ho-Hum any longer, you're just getting his hopes up and it doesn't sound like he's going to be "the one"....
Keep looking, you're young. You've got plenty of time to find the right guy. Don't settle for boring, and don't settle for a married man.
Best of luck.
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A
female
reader, cd206 + ♥, writes (31 January 2007):
 Forget about ur ex. His wife and sons deserve to have him around. A younger guy is BOUND to be less experienced at sex than an older guy but experience is the reason why sex isn't as good. You just need to give him some handy tips like vocalising when something feels good etc and it should all work out okay.
CD
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