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My neighbour's husband suggested me to have sex with his wife. My wife may be suspicious. Do I tell her or stay away?

Tagged as: Cheating, Sex, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 December 2007) 7 Answers - (Newest, 23 July 2009)
A male Australia age 51-59, anonymous writes:

Hi

over the past few month my neighbour has been giving me the come on with thing she dones. eg flashing and making sagestive conversation. last weekend i was helping her husband with a job in the garden. she was there and flashed her boobs several times. her husband asked me if i would be intrested in having sex with her. as they had discussed it and thought i may be intrested

my wife has picked up on the body language between us and has said for a while that she is after me. my wife has 2 flings on the side over the years that we have got over.

do you think i should tell her or stay away.

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A male reader, Red Green 0289 United States +, writes (23 July 2009):

I think that it's rude of them to ask you behind your wife's back... the other woman is trying to get you to violate your marriage (which I'm fine with if all 4 parties agree!)- the better way is for her to ask you wife if you can come play - if wife says yes great, if wife balls up her fist and DECKS her, then the cat fight is ON!

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A male reader, saket India +, writes (17 June 2008):

yes

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2008):

It takes all sorts in this world, there's rarely absoloute "right" or "wrong" answers, that said, just try and figure out the situation as it applies to you.

If your wife's past flings were horrible on you both and were very hard to overcome, it's probably best for you to tell your wife that you think they wanted you to, but you're not interested, and yes, tell them you're flattered, but you're wife and you don't have an open-sex relationship.

On the other hand, if you believe your wife's earlier flings are a sign that she wants an open relationship, discuss it with her, maybe she'd like to be present, or involved in some sexual activity, and while this can be an amazing answer for some people, it's very few people who can handle this kind of relationship, be careful.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2007):

I think its weird that a guy would treat his wife like that and offer her to you like he owns her. Something about this sounds so sketchy and wrong. I would stay away from these people if I were you. Something's not right. For all you know this guy might have some sick control over this woman and makes her do stuff like that, maybe against her will. I mean you don't know. Don't take advantage of this woman anymore than I get the impression she has already been taken advantage of. It sounds like she is a victim of this guy's demented control over her. I'm telling you, it sounds WEIRD.

As for you and your wife's relationship, you know if she cheated and you forgave her then you have to put that episode behind you and truly forgive and forget. I mean the cheating has got to stop. When is it going to stop, you know??

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A male reader, Noir sur Blanc United States +, writes (22 December 2007):

Do you tell who? Your wife that your considering this, or his wife that your considering this? Either way your considering this.

It's not that your wife "may" be suspicious. She is suspicious. Now she may be afraid that you'll act on it because of her two prior flings.

You need to be straight up with your wife. It's no cause for grave concern that a man becomes a bit aroused when another man's wife is waving her boobs in his face, so you shouldn't try to hid this fact. However, acting on your arousal is another thing altogether. If your wife does not want you to have sex with this women, respect her and don't. But if she is willing to entertain the possiblity of being able to share you for a little indulgent fantasy realization between you and this other man's wife, then go right ahead. Her knowing that you asked her permission, and that she gave it to you, with certain restrictions, may go a long way towards sweetening your marriage (or it could F things up really bad.) Whatever, be straight with your wife, and respect her point of view.

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom +, writes (22 December 2007):

kenny agony auntI think its a pretty stange request to say the least, gosh i must have pretty boring neighbours because mine are not like that. I am a single guy so i would probably take him up on the offer, if she was fit of course. But i feel for you its going to cause unessesary complications in your marriage were you wife to find out, but an the end of the day its your choice.

Good luck

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2007):

Just quietly tell your neighbours that you're extremely flattered by their offer and that you think the wife has fantastic tits, but that your wife might not like it too much if you took the offer up, so you'll have to politely decline.

I suppose you could ask your wife if she fancies him, in which case you could have an orgy, but that's not really recommended either!

Phil

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