A
female
age
13-15,
anonymous
writes:Oh my god!! What do I do in this situation??I used to be attracted to my teacher, USED TO being the key frase, I'm not anymore! But when I was, I used to write down all my feelings for him in my diary, pages and pages of my deepest feelings, and I used to write down all the dreams I had about him, and my councillor told me to write down anything that is bottling up down on paper to release the emotions. So I did. I also wrote fairly sexual stories about what I wanted to happen, they were COMPLETE fantasies written down purely to stop my anxiety and emotional outbursts.I only kept them because I thought when I'm older they'll will be quite fun to read, and to know exactly what I was feeling at a certain point in my life, I kept it all hidden in my diary.My mum found it and read it. All the sexual fantasies and all the dreams and feelings, she read ALL OF IT!!Now she thinks something was going on between us!!It never was!! He left and I never once told him how I felt about him! But she is absolutely insisting that something went on because I described things in such detail! How do I convince her that it was all fiction and absalutely NOTHING happened! She shouldn't have been reading my diary anyway!She's threatened to report him to the police!!! NOTHING HAPPENED! He didn't even find out how I felt!!Oh my god!! What do I do???
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male
reader, q1605  +, writes (19 February 2008):
About your nosy meddling mother who keeps such close tabs on you. thats her job. If some body older was preying on you and she missed it because she was more fearful of violating your privacy then she would be even more damned. I don't know how close you are to your mom but sometimes roles get blurred and a mother will take the place of a best friend. But she's not she is your mother. And its not a popularity contest She wants you to reach 18 and beyond being sheltered from the bad in the world without resorting to illusions that the world is an overly good place full of wonderful strangers who just like you for you
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2008): Hello. Glad you sorted it out. I'm sorry to hear about your sister. It's good that your mother cares about you. Take care xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMy mum must have been concerned because it was VERY WELL hidden and to find it she must have looked!! People are telling me that I shouldn't write my deepest feelings down, I guess I was just naive enough to think privacy in my own bedroom still exsisted. But I can see now that I've taken a step back why she might have looked for my diary, when I found out he was leaving I spent all my time locked in my room crying, apart from when I was at school spending his last few days with him, I never told her about how I was feeling, so I guess she thought there was something really serious wrong. My sister was sexually abused and she wrote the whole thing down in her diary, if my mum had read my sisters diary back then it would have resolved so many problems, and it could have beenn stopped earlier. So now when I look at the situation I can see exactly why she read my diary. We have sorted this out now. She said she was never going to call the police, she didn't even believe anything had happened, she was just so shocked and couldn't deal with the fact that I'd written and had thoughts about a much older man so sexually. She said it shocked her so much to read my thoughts that were 'so erotic' (personally I wouldn't go that far as to say erotic!!)Anyway thankyou all for you're advice, I was so worried, and you all made me feel like it could be resolved.Thankyou
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2008): So your counsellor told you to scribe all your innermost feelings onto paper, your mother has somehow got hold of your diary and your teacher is potentially at risk from being wanted by the police!!!! Oh dear God if it wasn't so mortifying and awful for you right now, it would run like a comedy of errors. I agree with q1605 about never writing anything down etc ... An ex-boss once said to me 'never send rude emails and texts to people about other people because emails and texts is how you get caught'!!! (long story, pressed the wrong bloody button and sent a long rude email to the wrong person, it was intended for my friend but it went to the person that I was ranting about and I tried to recall it but it was too late) I know it's not the same but the principle is pretty much the same I guess. You'll look back on this in years to come and laugh!
In the meantime you have an irate Mother to deal with. I am a Mother and so I know how she is feeling. When did this happen? If she really was going to 'call the police' presumably she would have done it by now and once she calms down and listens to your side of the story she may realise there is no point calling them but she may take it to the school head or something so just calmly re-assure her that it was all fantasy and nothing has happened.
I did wonder whether your counsellor perhaps meant that you should write things down in a diary with a lock on it?? Your mother may have been reading it because she was concerned about you not because she was being intrusive. Anyway, I do feel for you, I can imagine how mortified and worried you might be but calm down, speak to our mother calmly and just try and smooth everything over and re-assure her. Good luck. Take care xxx
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A
male
reader, q1605 +, writes (17 February 2008):
If your mom thought you had contact with a teacher he would already be in jail. This is a perfect time to learn one of my most basic all encompassing rules of life. Never ever ever write anything down that you wouldn't want to be broadcast on Television with you quoted as the source.
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A
female
reader, holly-x-dolly  +, writes (17 February 2008):
 OMGG!! thats awfull.
Im at the same age as you and i have a diary and if my mum read my diary id go madd. tell her again these were just fantasies and absaloutley nothing happened. then use the guilt trick going "i cant belive you dont believe me your my own mother" it always works for me haha. its actually natural for teens to have crushes on teachers (lots of my mates do) also tell your mum that she is over reacting because she will be making false acusations and she wud get this man into a hole load of shit, he could also loose his job and go on the sex offenders list.. hope things work out for youu
holly xxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2008): just tell your mum this happens to almost every teenager ( i no coz im goin through it at the moment) and tell her that if she goes to the police she will look stupid. i dont think this man could get charged because you have to amit to doin something with him which you wont, so dont worry.
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A
female
reader, howcomehoney  + ♥, writes (17 February 2008):
 Oh no! That's awful! You just have to keep reassuring your mother, I guess. Keep telling her that you just have a very vivid imagination. She's being the protective mother bird type at the moment, she'll calm down and get over it. I think you also have to have a serious word with her about privacy. Your diary is your diary, nobody should be reading that! Tell her how you feel about it, in a calm way. You seem intelligent and reasonable, this shouldn't be a problem for you. Hopefully this should all blow over when she calms down.I'm sorry though, that really is nasty! (Could I recommend a diary with a lock?! Or maybe a computer diary with a password?)
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A
female
reader, soph* +, writes (17 February 2008):
oh my, this has never happened to me before but why was she going looking on your diary! the best thing to do is give her the diary and say mum read it again if you like go report him to the police make yourself look stupid cause nun of it's true try n break out some tears should work ;)then she will realize that nothing happened, sit down n talk to her bout it,, OR ignore the situation don't mention it and she should leave itx
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