A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am in a relationship with a guy whom my Mum dislikes. We have been together for almost four months and things are going generally well between us. Only his dad lives around the area and we have met a few times - once for dinner and twice at his place. We didn't really talk much and I wasn't sure whether he likes me. Lately, he has had a new arrival to the family and he popped into my workplace to show me some photos of his granddaughter. He didn't buy anything and left straight after he showed me, and when I told my boyfriend, he said it is very unusual behaviour for him (to come in to show the photos without buying anything) which reflected that he likes me. I felt quite happy by this comment, but when I told my Mum, she said he was just excited and wanted to share the news with anyone. This knocked me down and disappointed me. She believes that if he really likes me, he would invite me to his place more often and get my phone number and be in touch with me more etc. Tomorrow night, he will be cooking for my boyfriend and me, which is really nice of him, but yet again Mum says he's just doing it totally for his son and will happen once in a long time, as he cannot possibly like me as much as my boyfriend expresses. To what extent is my Mum right? Why does she have these ideas or am I just being 'naive'? Please help.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2011): His dad does seem to like you. I think your mum is trying to convince you otherwise, not out of malice, but out of fear. She is afraid of you getting your hopes up (probably about anything) and ending up hurt. Whatever her motives it isn't very nice of her.
A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (4 August 2011):
 no, it sounds as if his dad likes you, he is being nice without being too familiar with you, which is great. i bet if he was getting too friendly with you your mum would have a nasty comment about that too,, she would probably tell you he is after you and is being a dirty old man!
take no notice of her. your boyfriend and his dad are probably really nice guys and your mum is jealous (i speak from experience by what i have known with my own mother!) does your mum not have much of a life or her own? that is often why people like to cause trouble for others and cause rifts. hopefully in time she will accept your boyfriend is good for you and she will mellow towards him and his family
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A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (4 August 2011):
 I think your mom is just trying to separate you and your boyfriend/breed animosity. If he was excited he would show his family. He clearly considers you sort of part of that family or he wouldn't have even thought to show you at all. If he didn't like you he wouldn't even be trying to be nice or stopping by. The fact that he didn't buy anything to me means he was ONLY coming by to see you, not because he needed something. And he wouldn't bother cooking dinner either. Trust me, if he didn't like you, he wouldn't see you at all. Does your mom drop by to talk to your boyfriend? Does she cook for him?
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