A
female
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writes:Hi I really need help!My Mum has really bad mood swings. One minute she's really sweet, the next minute she's all moody and shouts at me. I tried writing it in my diary about it but she found my diary and read it and got super mad at me. But I thought as a mum she'd respect my privacy? Please help! Thank you! Reply to this Question |
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2005): I had that problem too. Two years ago my mom got so bad I was in tears every day. The school I went to finaly told my mom that she should go to the doctor and so she did and we found out she was bipolar. Your situation reminds me of my old one. Hope this helps.
A
female
reader, Alison111 +, writes (9 July 2005):
Mum's are people who bring the likes of us into their worlds and where things can go very wrong that love never stops. Mum's are all giving at the best of times but needs are thiers also. Where you feel your privacy invaded - in doing so questions get answered. Not your fault - your Mum's anxieties -but nice to be cared about non the less.Talk To Your MumShe Will Always Be Your Best FriendAlison
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (8 July 2005):
 You don't say how old your mum is, but hormonal changes are notorious for causing mood swings. If she's around 45-55, she could be entering menopause (which is also possible at a younger age). If your mum is pregnant or just had a baby, that could do it too.
There might be other medical causes, like possibly a new medication that she's been prescribed.
Finally - and I think this might be the most likely culprit - she could just have really a lot going on in her life, doesn't feel like she's coping and is unfortunately, taking it out on you.
Between relationships with men, having a career and raising kids, most women feel like throwing in the towel at some time during their lives. This combination might be what's causing her to act so unpredictably, particularly if there's been a recent break up or if she's dating someone, etc.
Your strategies can be: First, keep your diary out of sight. Yes, you SHOULD be able to trust her not to read it, but since she's obviously not quite "herself" right now, it's best to take steps to ensure your own privacy.
Second: Do your utmost to be a helpful family member, to try to relieve any unnecessary strain on your mum right now. Try to avoid the sorts of behaviours that would irritate her, and resolve to live by the code "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" -- at least for a while.
Third: Depending on your confidence and closeness with your mum, you might quietly, privately mention that she seems under a lot of stress lately and ask if there's anything you can do to help. This will have 2 effects: she'll realise that she's been acting in a way that you've noticed, and she'll recognise that you're concerned enough to offer help. Those are both good things. Just remember that if she says "No, hon, I'm fine" that it's your cue to smile, nod and say nothing further about it.
Most of these things pass in time, but if she starts acting in ways that get worse, or if you're scared, please talk to some other adult that you trust and tell them about it, so they can find some help for her.
Hope this helps, dear.
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reader, NordicBeauty +, writes (8 July 2005):
It sounds like your mom is going through a few issues:
1) Menopause (hormonal imbalance causing mood swings
2) Personal problems that she cannot share with you.
Honey, please realize that whatever she is going through has nothing to do with you...she loves you dearly, but when her moods shift, she does not think straight and directs her frustrations at you.
My advice is to fix her a lovely dinner...buy her a rose & then sit down & have a heart to heart conversation with her about your hurt feelings...communicate to her that you have noticed her mood swings & you're worried about her.
Suggest to her to consult a doctor & have some tests.
If she is experiencing menopause, the doctor can give her a prescription for medication which will help the problem.
If she is not going through menopause, then she is dealing with a personal problem that is making her feel frustrated, upset & confused, but she should not take it out on you.
Let her know you love her, but you feel hurt & angry when she constantly attacks you & yells at you.
Perhaps you might even want to chat with a close friend of your mom's...and that friend can reach out to your mom & give her guidance.
All the best,
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