A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Hi all. I really hope you can help me and i need as much advice as possible. I'm 18 and i live with my dad. My mum passed away when i was 13. It really devastated me. My life has felt incomplete since.My dad says ive to take over the house we are in just now (the 1 my mum died in) If anything happens to him.I dont want to hurt my dad but i cant take over a house that both parents have/will die in. Im seceretly planning on moving out of the area completely but what holds me back is i dont want to leave my dad on his own. I plan on going to wales and stay with my uncle until i get myself sorted and my uncle says he would love to have me and help me out.There are too many bad memories and down falls where i am just now and whole "up and move to where not many people know me" is what i need. please can you all shed light on this for me and help me out with any advice you can give?I would really mean a lot to me.xxx Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2007): The most positive thing that can come out of this is to sell the house and buy something that you will live happily in. The place will be yours and you can make it a happy home. Your dad sounds like he is in a depressive state after the death of your mum and that is why he is talking of you getting the house when he is gone. You need to have a chat to your dad and explain just how you feel about the place. Maybe he secretly feels the same. He may want to sell up and you two move to somewhere else and make a fresh start. You wont be around your dad forever and if you do move to Wales then dont feel guilty about it. You need to make a future for yourself. Your dad will be ok in time, but it does take time.
take care
xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2007): I agree with the others. Perhaps you could try to make the house a more positive place and remember some happy things for your Mum's sake? Why not get a vicar or priest around to bless it and have a little ceremony of thanks for your Mum. Plant a flower garden for her. You don't have to keep the house, you can sell it. It is a gift of love from your parents. I think you sound very negative and sad about the death of your Mum and maybe need to turn this around so you can think of her and smile - which is a thing she hopefully deserves. Your Dad is still alive, don't act like Eeyore. We all die, but you don't really seem to be living at the moment. Have some joy in your life, don't waste it.
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A
male
reader, harshbutfair +, writes (24 September 2007):
 This is called "inheritance".
When your Dad passes away, he will leave you the house in his will. It's then yours to do what you like with. So if you want to sell it and move out, you can do that.
You may not even live at home when this happens.
I'm sure your Dad is not expecting to live at home until he dies (is he?).
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2007): Im sorry about your mom. I don't think you should leave your dad though, he's been through a lot as well as you have. What you could always do is to sell the home when your dad passes away. If you move, who knows what will happen to the house. You're young now, but some day you will really appreciate the money that could come from selling the home & I'm sure your parents would want it to go to you.
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A
female
reader, Love_is_all_youu_need + ♥, writes (24 September 2007):
 Firstly, i am deeply sorry for the loss of your mother - it must be hard for you!
I agree with what you said, it may hurt your dads feelings if you move out to live with your uncle. The only suggestion i could make, is to talk to your dad about how you feel about all this. Perhaps you can compromise and come to a decision for you both to move out of town, near your uncle. He should understand you not wanting the house after what has happened, i think he is the only person who can really help you out here!
All my love xxx
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