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My mother won't allow me to marry a younger man

Tagged as: Age differences, Big Questions, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 August 2014) 4 Answers - (Newest, 1 September 2014)
A female Cameroon age 26-29, *'nesh writes:

I am a 19 year old girl, been in a 1yr relationship with my boyfriend without sex cos I'm scared of losing my virginity yet! I love him but the truth is I am 6 months older than him.

He wishes to marry me but my mum says she'll not allow me marry a man who's of my age above all younger than me!!! AGE is then a problem, but the truth is I love him so much to let what we share disappear...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2014):

She doesn't want you to marry, that's why she's picking on his age, it's one of a very few things he can't do anything about. You have to find out whether she doesn't want you to get married now or whether she just doesn't want you to marry him.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2014):

I met my boyfriend when we were both 16, he is 2 months older than I. At 17 he walked me to the church he thought I'd like to get married in. We got married in that church at 23. See we knew we loved each other, but had we got engaged at 17 in this day and age people think you're young and foolish. We moved in together at 18 and had the comments of "they won't last in realise, they're just kids..."

I'm not one for giving a care in the world to what people think of me, but on our wedding day I wanted people to genuinely be happy, share their love and witness us promise to be together for ever. I didn't want to get married young and have some people think we were daft. Those people no doubt cared for us but not many people nowadays see young people settling down and therefore assume it's not going to work out. My advice to you is to give time for your relationship to grow and develop. 6 months is nothing- it's still very new and exciting times for you both. If you both love each that much you both contemplate marriage then getting married tomorrow or in 5,6,7 years time is irrelevant because you'll still be together forever.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (22 August 2014):

CindyCares agony aunt 6 months is such a small age difference that perhaps your mom objects to you getting married NOW. 19 is very young for getting married, and for getting married to an 18 y.o. BOY.. I think every mom would shiver at the idea.

Did you find out if this is the case ?.

If you truly love each other , what you have got won't disappear if you don't marry right away. ( If you feel that, i.e. that if you don't marry him, he'll get distracted and lose interest, or some other girl will snatch him away from you , that's a very bad reason for getting married, and makes for a marriage built out of shaky foundations ).

In many cultures the tradition is that the man is somewhat older than the woman, but- 6 months ? 6 months really would not even count as an age difference, I suppose, if you BOTH were of a sensible marrying age...

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A female reader, Behavioural Analysis United Kingdom +, writes (22 August 2014):

Behavioural Analysis agony aunt6 months really isn't an age gap, but I suppose it may be in your culture.

Can he support you if you get married? Would you want to work too? Could you wait another year or two before getting engaged to prove to your mum that you love each other and that's that?

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